I was born to be a Walmart Greeter. It’s in my blood, like high cholesterol and disenchantment. My grandfather, Earl “Pops” Haskins, manned the door of Store #118 for 22 years, armed with nothing but a crooked smile and a wooden cane he used to redirect feral children. My mother, Loretta Mae, served during the great “Plastic Bag Transition of…
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The Wrinkled and the Reckless A fellowship of old fogeys redefines thrill-seeking one orthopedic mishap at a time
“You don’t stop laughing when you grow old—you stop laughing when you bend over and something snaps.” —George Bernard Shaw In a world where society gently nudges most ninety-somethings toward recliner imprisonment, emerges an anarchist battalion of geriatric gladiators hellbent on turning retirement into an extreme sport. Forget benign visions of visiting the Grand Canyon, or alphabetizing the spice rack.…
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Botinal, Bergamot, and Betrayal One Man's Small Price for Looking Perfect
Ah, the folly of youth. Or rather, the folly of middle age, when one suddenly awakens to the quagmire of vanity and seeks—nay, demands—a resurgence, an odyssey back to one’s former splendor. And so, there I was, three days post-divorce, standing before the mirror, staring at the vestige of a man who once gallivanted through life with the audacity of…
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Codfish Cove Residences Schedule of Classes & Events
Hello there! Thank you so much for taking a moment to hear about something truly special and heartwarming. Codfish Cove Residences isn’t just any place—it’s a charming, inviting community designed to feel like home, complete with a cozy collection of one-bedroom apartments arranged around a beautifully landscaped courtyard. Imagine waking up to the peaceful beauty of a place that’s as…
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Lost Memory Mambo and Other Favorites of the Infirm
I’m thrilled to announce that this month, I’m celebrating my seventy-fifth birthday! Now, I know what some of you are thinking: “Big deal. I’ve got socks older than that!” But for me, it’s still a milestone. I was born on June 24, 1949, the same day that Hopalong Cassidy rode into our living room for the first time inside a 12-inch…
