Golly, isn’t it something when a song starts playing, and whoosh! You’re like a time traveler, zooming back to when life was as sweet as Mom’s apple pie. Just like that tune “We’ve Only Just Begun” by The Carpenters, it reminds me of starting new adventures, like the time Wally and I decided to build that fort in the backyard. Or “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston, gosh, it’s like when you have to say goodbye to a best pal, but you know deep down, you’ll always be friends. And hey, remember “Longer” by Dan Fogelberg? It’s like those endless summer days, playing catch until the streetlights come…
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From Aisle to Asylum A Hilarious Send-off to the Madness of Newlywed Life
Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed guests, and fellow Rehab Rascals alumni, I stand before you today with a heart full of sincerity and a warm and welcoming spirit as we celebrate the union of my beautiful daughter, who we affectionately refer to as Snickerdoodle, and her dashing groom, Ziggy. Before I begin, I’d like to thank Aunt Petunia for bringing the potato salad, Cousin Archibald for the beef jerky, and all the other special guests who have gathered to partake in this celebration with us. Ziggy, we feel we’ve gained a new family member, and we want you to know that you are always welcome in our home anytime; as long…
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The Real Secret to Using Online Dating An expert helps would be daters discover the truth behind on-line dating
It’s Saturday night around 11:30 and I’ve been telling Carol about the time I visited Nepal while on break from Harvard Medical School. I was telling Leslie how I excel at skiing the steeps in the Chugach mountain range and Sharon and I were engaged in a long discussion about our favorite restaurants in Tuscany. All from the comfort of my barcalounger using my online dating app. I haven’t been on a date in over five years, so it’s easy to understand why I’ve grown so comfortable with sidling up to women through Match.com, Great-Expectations.com, WaaaayOverThirtySingles.com, and Plentyof Fish.com – while wallowing in the safety that only deception and miles…
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The End of a Love Affair The first same-person marriage fails. News at 11:00
Boston, MASS – In a sad epilogue to an earlier published story, Roland Nigland, 33, has filed for divorce from himself citing irreconcilable differences. Readers may recall that Nigland, of Boston, Massachusetts became the first person to publicly profess his love for himself in what was believed to be the first same-person love affair and marriage on record. “I honestly don’t know what happened,” said Nigland. “I was so much in love with myself. After the wedding, I set up house in a renovated Beacon Hill apartment, found a new job and made plans to start a family. All the usual stuff. But then, just as quickly, things began to…
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For Better or for Worse The amazing story of Roland Nigland--the first man to marry himself
Boston, Mass. – In a landmark case for matrimonial rights, a Boston man married himself today in a private service. Roland Nigland, 31, stood before a municipal judge and a small gathering of close friends to profess his love to himself in what is believed to be the first same-person marriage on record. “From the moment that I saw my reflection in the mirror,” said Nigland, “I fell in love with myself.” Nigland confessed that the first time that he started to experience strong feelings for himself was in the third grade. “I snuck into my room the other morning and pressed my nose into a hamper of my dirty…
