“Falling in love is like stepping into traffic. You know it’s a terrible idea, but part of you still wants to see what happens.” — Tina Punchinellos Former hostage negotiator turned wedding planner Welcome to Cyclops Singles—the only dating site made exclusively for one-eyed romantics. Whether you’re dreaming of sunset walks along molten lava beaches or pupil-to-pupil chats under the stars, we’re here to help you find your perfect monocular match. Our patented RetinaScan Positron Emission Tomography Matching™ does the peeking, while our Blink & Bond Algorithms create sparks of instant chemistry. With fully moderated profiles and mythical mischief-makers kept firmly at bay, your journey to love is safe, simple, and…
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Reelin’ in the Years – Part One Stowin' Away the Time
“Your everlasting summer you can see it fading fast So you grab a piece of something that you think is gonna last Well you wouldn’t even know a diamond if you held it in your hand The things you think are precious I can’t understand” – Steely Dan, 1972 There was a time when photography was less about capturing a moment and more about surviving the process. The good ol’ days when seat belts were optional, asbestos was practically a food group, and snapping a photo required patience, coordination, and the nerve of a bomb technician. You didn’t just take a photo. You committed to it. One click, one chance,…
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Titanic Love Story on a Door Now with 50% more ice
Original Premise: Titanic (1997) – “I’ll Never Let Go” As Jack slowly sinks into the freezing Atlantic, Rose clings to him before finally letting go, leaving audiences devastated and debating whether or not there was room on that door. Opening Scene A vast, icy expanse. The remains of the HMS Titanic bob in the water as Jack clings to the edge of a massive wooden door, his lips bluer than a New York cab driver’s language. Rose lies comfortably atop the door, drier than a sandwich. The orchestra continues floating nearby, still playing, their instruments now replaced with various species of fish. Jack: Rose, I… I don’t think I’m gonna…
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The Fruitcake Files No-Nonsense Tips for Surviving Modern Relationships
The “Fruitcake Lady” was Marie Rudisill, an American author and television personality known for her candid, humorous, and often salty advice. She gained fame in the early 2000s through her appearances on “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” during a segment called “Ask the Fruitcake Lady.” She became a viral sensation thanks to her quick wit, straightforward demeanor, and unfiltered advice. Her segments covered a range of topics, from relationships to etiquette, with a biting humor that audiences adored. We’re honored to present some of them here. How do you handle a husband who snores like a freight train? Well, let me tell ya somethin’, dealin’ with a husband who snores…