Hygiene Archives - Allen R Smith

All Entries, ChatGPT, Communication, Health, Humor, Hygiene

Customer Service Needed on Aisle 17! Assistance Required with Finding Ass Wipes

August 30, 2024

What is the proper term for “Ass Wipes?” You know, those tissues used for cleaning your Brown-eyed Willy after dropping a deuce? As I’ve grown older, I’ve experienced a flotilla of personal hygiene challenges I never had to contend with when I was in my teens. Or 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, or 60s. Things like hair growing out of strange places, drooling during dinner, putrid body odor, incontinence, flatulence, and cleaning up “back there” after pinching a loaf. It’s easy to find products in stores to handle these adjustments if you know what to ask for. But in the case of intimate hygiene products, it can be tough. It’s not…

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The Greatest Stories Never Told A Legendary Hollywood icon shares what really went on behind the scenes while filming The Ten Commandments, Ben Hur, The Sound of Music, and Titanic
June 22, 2021

You Won’t Be Getting a Birthday Card From Me I just don’t have the time
May 23, 2021

Air-Filled Foods Fill You Up Without the Calories Bite into Lightness
June 11, 2024
All Entries, Appearance, ChatGPT, Home Life, Hygiene

Mood Adjusting Deodorant Changes Scents For A Whiff of Change

June 11, 2024

San Francisco, CA – In an exciting leap forward for personal care, FreshScent Innovations is proud to announce the launch of MoodMatch®, a revolutionary scent-adjusting deodorant that changes fragrance based on the wearer’s mood. This innovative product promises to transform daily hygiene routines by adding a dynamic, personalized touch. MoodMatch® deodorant will be available starting July 15, 2024, and offers a unique blend of technology and personal care, ensuring that individuals can stay fresh while expressing their inner emotions through their scent. “At FreshScent Innovations, we believe that personal care should be both functional and expressive,” said Amanda Reed, CEO of FreshScent Innovations. “With MoodMatch®, we are merging cutting-edge technology with…

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Tweety’s Techie Tidbits Apple's Unveiling of the Mithed Weawity Mawvel
June 4, 2023

Unleashing the Power of DAN The Science Behind Artificial Intelligence Driven Interviews
June 20, 2023

Kindergarten: An Adventure Like No Other A preschool valedictorian addresses the challenges of disillusion, failure and broccoli
April 11, 2023
All Entries, Business and Work, Communication, Humor, Hygiene

New Restroom Policies The inordinate amount of time visiting restrooms during business hours is about to stop!

February 21, 2023

From: Thaddeus Federman, CEO, Acme Office Supplies To: All employees Subject: New Restroom Visitation Policies It has come to our attention that employees have been wasting an inordinate amount of time visiting the restroom during business hours. Up until now, Acme Office Supplies has allowed unlimited visits, with no accounting for lost work time while using the facilities. That’s about to change. Beginning on Monday, visits to the restrooms will be limited to a maximum of two, ten-minute visits per visit per employee — one visit in the morning and one in the afternoon. Each visit begins the moment the employee leaves their desk and ends when they return. It…

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Great Achievements in Medical Fraud How the foot operated breast enlarger and Recto Rotor revolutionized medicine
April 20, 2017

Maneuvering Through M&Ms Grocery shopping has gotten brutal out there
March 1, 2020

Interview with a Felon It's not easy breaking the corporate barrier when you've done time
May 5, 2021
All Entries, Family, Health, Home Life, Humor, Hygiene

How to Clean Your Bum And other important product descriptions you may have missed

May 24, 2021

Mitchum Antiperspirant: Remove the cap from the top of the product casing. Twist the knob at the bottom of the container counter-clockwise, until the product begins to ooze from the small holes at the top of the dispenser. While holding the dispenser in your right hand, lift your left elbow away from your naked body until your upper arm is parallel to the floor. Point the tip of the dispenser toward your underarm at a 45-degree angle where your upper arm and torso meet (armpit). Press the dispenser firmly against your skin while dragging the applicator down, applying a thin film of product to your skin. Repeat under other arm.…

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From Scalpels to Gavels The Supreme Court's Reshaping of Cosmetic Surgery
December 10, 2023

Blaschko Lines Blaschko's lines disease proves there's a little zebra in all of us
May 9, 2018

On Becoming a Successful Writer Everything you need to know to guarantee your success as a writer
January 19, 2016
All Entries, Family, Health, Home Life, Humor, Hygiene

Last Chance Underwear Skidmarks and the smell of kids... everything you ever wanted to know about rectal hygience

May 11, 2016

When I was a kid growing up in southern California, I’d try to escape the blistering summer heat by playing in the sprinklers on the front lawn or floating submerged in a public swimming pool until my fingers turned to prunes. I counted those hours under water as part of my daily hygienic practices. My mother didn’t. At that age I didn’t know that the reason they chlorinated the water so heavily was because my classmates were peeing or Hershey squirting in the water. It looked clean to me. The way I looked at it, as long as I spent every day under water, I could go the entire summer…

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I Mastered The Theremin To Get Laid And I’m not ashamed to admit it
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