Buying a case of beer always seemed to be a problem. Leading the sheltered life of a 16-year-old from the San Fernando Valley, I hadn’t yet heard of heroin, uppers, downers, roofies, opium, cocaine, ecstasy, LSD, steroids, crack cocaine, PCP or even pot. I wasn’t even interested in vodka, whiskey or tequila. All I wanted was a case of beer.…
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Television Shows that Didn’t Make the Fall Line-up Beyond reality TV: what you probably won't be watching on televison anytime soon
It’s that time again. The time when television network executives decide which shows will make their fall line-up and those that won’t. Here’s a brief list of what you won’t be seeing on the major television networks this year: CSI: Proctologist – CSI: Proctologist follows Dr. Sam Sloan, accompanied by hard drinking, divorced New York City Detective, Mitchell Perez through…
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Making Writers Great Again Trump University may be closed, but it's not too late to write like a reality star
Folks, I’m very, very, very pleased to announce the grand opening of my Donald J. Trump Writers Workshop. Together, we will determine the course of America and the world for many, many years to come. We will face challenges, we will confront hardships… wait a minute. That’s my inaugural speech, not my Writers Workshop introduction. Shit. Let me try it…
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Become a Breast Surgeon – On-line! My twelve weeks on the road through medical school and more breasts than I'd ever seen!
As a terminated, over-the-hill computer operator I never dreamed that I’d have an opportunity so late in life to strut down the halls of a major medical center as a world renowned breast surgeon, barking out orders on my way to scrubbing up for a mastopexy. Up until now, all those years of drinking, bong smoking and my worthless junior…
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Where the Sun Don’t Shine You want to stick THAT up where?
About the time I reached my fiftieth birthday, I experienced two inevitable milestones. The first was “The Letter” from AARP. The second was a reminder from my internist that it was time for my first colonoscopy. The AARP Letter magically appeared in my mailbox while I was in my late forties, inviting me to join the American Association of Retired…
