During tough economic times, difficult problems require creative solutions. It’s important to honestly take stock of your current skills and decide what you have to offer society that’s easily convertible into a livable wage–even if it’s just sperm. That’s why I was so intrigued when I ran across an article in the Washington Post, with the following headlines: “Fertility Clinics…
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My Birth Anomalies Birth defects are easy... being normal is tough
Anita Phillips was ugly. I should know. I had to sit behind her, looking at the back of her head during the entire sixth grade. She had big ears, stringy hair and bumps on her head the size of golf balls. If her parents weren’t so cheap, they would have sought the services of a good plastic surgeon for her…
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Let’s Get This Potty Started Restroom breaks can be tedious
I was in my early 20s, when I decided to take a break from the tedious life I had created for myself and spend a summer in Munich, Germany. Ever since I saw Leni Riefenstahl’s epic documentary of the 1938 Olympic Games, I wanted to experience for myself what it would be like to pole vault in Bavaria. With barely…
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The Triple Nipple Club Having two nipples is so passe... How about three nipples, an extra penis or two vaginas?
I have three nipples. I’m not proud of them, but there they are. Resting a few inches below my right breast, my third nipple (also called a supernumerary nipple, accessory breast, multiple breast syndrome, mammae erraticae or polythelia) was first pointed out to me in the sixth grade when I took my shirt off during a heated kickball match. At…
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How Shall I Say This? How to craft killer resumes and cover letters that people can understand
I’m not a professional resume writer. I don’t even play one on TV. Nevertheless, as a professional writer and active job-search candidate, I’ve learned a few things about how to craft killer resumes and cover letters, beginning with our vernacular… that’s a fancy word for the language or dialect spoken by ordinary people in a particular country or region. How…