“Where did I come from?” asked Shadrach as we pulled up to his football game at Fleigenbaum Field. Having never been married, I thought I’d be exempt from ever having to discuss the birds and the bees with a 6-year-old quarterback, so I never put much thought into what I’d say if asked. Looks like I was going to have to punt. “Well, Shadrach, each month, in one of your mommy’s two ovaries, a few immature eggs develop into follicles. The mature follicle releases an egg during ovulation, which turns into the corpus luteum. Progesterone prepares the endometrium in anticipation of the embryo. Then, your daddy’s sperm travels up the…
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The Golden Era of Cigarette Ads When cigarette smoking, big tobacco and lung cancer were cool
When Sir Walter Raleigh helped to popularize tobacco during the 16th century, he probably had no idea that he would be responsible for cigarette ads; one of the largest and most profitable advertising campaigns in the history of Madison Avenue. Campaigns that would see a single product go from lifestyle enhancement to a pariah of the medical community within a matter of years. Give Me Your Young at Heart Before their negative association with health, cigarettes were marketed to successful young men and women as a way to relax and get more out of life. Advertisements were filled with virile, athletic men and women prancing around tennis courts in snow-white…
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Speed Dating Cougars, MILFs and Chihuahuas Scoring the woman of your dreams from your Barcalounger and iPhone
Ten minutes after my divorce was final, I decided that I’d waited long enough to go looking for the woman of my dreams. Or, at least the next woman of my dreams. It was time for speed dating. I heard from my friends that dating in the 21st Century might be a tad different than I remember it. Guys don’t cruise the boulevard looking for chicks at the malt shop anymore and it’s not cool to leave large hickies on their necks. So, I decided to do some research before I got busy. The Internet has made dating infinitely easier than it used to be. Thanks to my Comcast account,…
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Watching Grandma Circle the Drain Alkaline hydrolysis: the latest way to get rid of a dead body
There’s only so many ways you can get rid of a dead body. Regardless of how it got that way – stabbed, shot, bludgeoned, run over by a truck, pummeled, poisoned, choked, tossed off a building or just withered from old age – its final demise has to be handled with care. Up until recently, you only had two choices. You could bury Grandma in a casket or cremate her. Both cost a lot of money and take weeks of planning. Or, if money’s tight, you could always drive into the middle of the desert in the dead of night, dig a hole by the glow of your car’s headlights…
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Expelled from Match.com! Tips for scoring hot chicks on internet dating sites... just before they pull your plug
Last year I enrolled at Match.com using the pen name of “MrMarvelous” just to see if there was anyone out there as desperate as I was to meet their perfect mate. After blowing off an entire day’s work perusing the women within 100 miles of my zip code, seven major metropolises and all of the neighborhoods I’ve ever lived, it became readily apparent that of the 40 million single men and women who subscribe to on-line dating services, most are looking for the same thing – and their profiles reflect it. So, to leverage myself against my male competitors and attract more than my fair share of the lovelier sex,…
