Ah, the Department of Motor Vehicles. Society’s favorite reminder that despite our drones, AI assistants, and phones smarter than the Apollo missions, bureaucracy remains blissfully entrenched in the Stone Age. If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if Dante rewrote Inferno as a choose-your-own-adventure set in a strip mall, well, the Department of Motor Vehicles is the place for you. Stepping into your local DMV office isn’t merely running an errand. It’s embarking on an odyssey of existential dread. Time itself ceases to matter once you pull that flimsy numbered ticket, joining the ranks of weary souls gazing upward at blinking screens. “Now serving B15,” they announce cheerfully, as you…
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Requiem for the Unstreamable How six bands found magic in the margins of the music history
Welcome to Requiem for the Unstreamable, where forgotten bands go to die gloriously, then get resurrected for your morbid entertainment and bootleg hiss. These aren’t bands that faded away quietly. They didn’t get lost in the shuffle. They were the shuffle. Chaotic, unpredictable, and slightly sticky to the touch. No publicists. No strategies. Just pure, unfiltered chaos, delivered by people who thought “advanced release” meant handing a burned CD to a guy in a van behind the bowling alley. These groups didn’t evaporate because of bad reviews or bad luck. They vanished because they were never built for this dimension in the first place. These weren’t market-tested artists carefully calibrated…
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How the West Got Fat The Salty, Starchy, Greasy Truth Behind America’s Original Snackpocalypse
It’s easy to romanticize the Old West. Hollywood gave us dusty cowpokes with jaws sharp enough to split a whiskey barrel and waistlines tighter than their lariats. Meanwhile, historical photos offer a somber parade of gaunt-faced pioneers and skeletal sodbusters, squinting toward the camera like they’re gaping maws of dysentery. But let’s put away the sepia-toned lies for a moment and take a gander at the deeper, fleshier truth. The West wasn’t just wild—it was well-fed. Sometimes too well-fed. While history might have you believe that settlers subsisted on hope and shoe leather, the reality is they had calories. A lot of them. And not the kale-and-goji-berry kind, either. We’re…
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Sunshine, Costumes and ‘Corn’ Conditions Spring Is a Freakin’ Vibe in Colorada
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Cyclops Singles Meet Your Match in the Blink of One Eye
“Falling in love is like stepping into traffic. You know it’s a terrible idea, but part of you still wants to see what happens.” — Tina Punchinellos Former hostage negotiator turned wedding planner Welcome to Cyclops Singles—the only dating site made exclusively for one-eyed romantics. Whether you’re dreaming of sunset walks along molten lava beaches or pupil-to-pupil chats under the stars, we’re here to help you find your perfect monocular match. Our patented RetinaScan Positron Emission Tomography Matching™ does the peeking, while our Blink & Bond Algorithms create sparks of instant chemistry. With fully moderated profiles and mythical mischief-makers kept firmly at bay, your journey to love is safe, simple, and…
