Humor Archives - Allen R Smith

All Entries, Business and Work, ChatGPT, Humor, Memoir

Money for Nothing The Misadventures of the Chronically Employed

March 28, 2025

“That ain’t workin’, that’s the way you do it Get your money for nothing, get your chicks for free” – Dire Straits, 1985 We’ve all done things for money. Some noble. Some necessary. And some that still wake us up at night in a cold sweat, with the faint echo of elevator music and the itch of polyester uniforms. From the moment we’re tall enough to reach a cash register and can fake a smile that says, “Yes, I’d love to help you find your size in a shoe we haven’t carried since 1983,” we’re ushered into a world of occupational roulette. Sometimes you land on “Valuable Life Experience.” Sometimes…

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Allen Smith

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Big Changes to 2028 Los Angeles Summer Olympic Games Venues USOC orders replacing water with chocolate pudding in all aquatic events
March 18, 2025

Impulse Control Has Left the Building bvFTD: The Elvis of neurological disorders
March 21, 2025

Botinal, Bergamot, and Betrayal One Man's Small Price for Looking Perfect
March 20, 2025
All Entries, ChatGPT, Health, Home Life, Humor, Travel

Your Senior Trip The Ups and Downs of Staying on Your Feet After 65

March 24, 2025

It happened somewhere over the Rockies, midflight to Denver, when our 747 decided to impersonate a bucking bronco. Luggage compartments popped open like jack-in-the-boxes, a snack cart took a nosedive into first class, and my seatmate—a silver-foxed gentleman with a face like a wise walnut—was flailing for his armrest like it owed him money. “This is nothing,” he bellowed, barely dodging a renegade peanut packet as it whizzed by his ear. “You should try getting out of my bathtub!” I let out a wheeze-laugh, clutched the seat in front of me, and tried not to go airborne. Because, as a seventy-something jet-setter with knees that audibly negotiate every step like…

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Allen Smith

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Misorder in the Court! Four cases where reason took a back seat to absurdity
March 17, 2025

Impulse Control Has Left the Building bvFTD: The Elvis of neurological disorders
March 21, 2025

Botinal, Bergamot, and Betrayal One Man's Small Price for Looking Perfect
March 20, 2025
All Entries, ChatGPT, Health, Humor, Medicine

Impulse Control Has Left the Building bvFTD: The Elvis of neurological disorders

March 21, 2025

Finding accurate, easy-to-read information on the internet these days is like trying to brush your teeth while eating Oreos. Sure, there are plenty of posts, tweets, threads, and AI-generated “expert” breakdowns—but how much of it is actually helpful? These days, everybody with a Wi-Fi connection and a ring light seems to think they’re a neurologist. And trying to understand something like Behavioral Variant Frontotemporal Dementia? Fuggedaboudit! It’s either written in dense medicalese only decipherable by ancient scholars of Gray’s Anatomy, or it’s so dumbed down, you walk away wondering what you just read. So in a world where misinformation spreads faster than grandma’s secret chili recipe at a church potluck,…

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Allen Smith

Related Posts

Big Changes to 2028 Los Angeles Summer Olympic Games Venues USOC orders replacing water with chocolate pudding in all aquatic events
March 18, 2025

Money for Nothing The Misadventures of the Chronically Employed
March 28, 2025

Your Senior Trip The Ups and Downs of Staying on Your Feet After 65
March 24, 2025
All Entries, Appearance, ChatGPT, Fashion, Humor, Seniors

Botinal, Bergamot, and Betrayal One Man's Small Price for Looking Perfect

March 20, 2025

Ah, the folly of youth. Or rather, the folly of middle age, when one suddenly awakens to the quagmire of vanity and seeks—nay, demands—a resurgence, an odyssey back to one’s former splendor. And so, there I was, three days post-divorce, standing before the mirror, staring at the vestige of a man who once gallivanted through life with the audacity of a raconteur unburdened by the indignities of time. Indubitably, something had to be done. Thus began my clandestine foray into the world of men’s cosmetics—not merely a dabble, but a full-fledged adventure, a spectacle of transformation worthy of legend. My first acquisition was the renowned Botinal Line Defense Facial Masque,…

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Allen Smith

Related Posts

Big Changes to 2028 Los Angeles Summer Olympic Games Venues USOC orders replacing water with chocolate pudding in all aquatic events
March 18, 2025

Impulse Control Has Left the Building bvFTD: The Elvis of neurological disorders
March 21, 2025

Money for Nothing The Misadventures of the Chronically Employed
March 28, 2025
All Entries, ChatGPT, Humor, Sports

Big Changes to 2028 Los Angeles Summer Olympic Games Venues USOC orders replacing water with chocolate pudding in all aquatic events

March 18, 2025

March 18, 2025 By Orville Zebulon Witherspoon The Broken Spoke Sentinel Flatbottom, Nebraska In a move that has left athletes, sports analysts, and dairy farmers equally bewildered, the United States Olympic Committee (USOC) announced today that starting in the 2028 Los Angeles Summer Olympic Games, all aquatic events, including freestyle swimming, synchronized diving, and, water polo will be staged exclusively in pools filled with Jell-O™ Chocolate Pudding. The decision, described by insiders as “either the most visionary sports innovation in history or an absolute train wreck waiting to happen,” was allegedly made to increase viewer engagement, and “reduce the risk of water-related injuries,” according to USOC spokesperson Mildred Eustace Butterfield.…

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Allen Smith

Related Posts

Money for Nothing The Misadventures of the Chronically Employed
March 28, 2025

Impulse Control Has Left the Building bvFTD: The Elvis of neurological disorders
March 21, 2025

Misorder in the Court! Four cases where reason took a back seat to absurdity
March 17, 2025