Dear Mom and Dad, I hope this letter finds you in the best of health and happiness. I’ve been at MIT for a few weeks now, and boy, do I have a lot to tell you. First of all, the workload is insane! I spend around 30 hours a week just on problem sets[1]. Can you believe it? And that’s just for calculus! The problems involve integral and differential calculus, concepts I thought I had mastered but now seem far more complicated[2]. In Intro to Biology, the lab work involves extracting DNA and then there’s a midterm on cellular structures[3]. You’d think they were training us to clone dinosaurs or…
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Jurassic Parenting When Families Shared Life Lessons, not Wi-Fi Passwords
“I don’t know’ isn’t an acceptable answer, but neither is quoting the wisdom of Gwyneth Paltrow.” Back when dinosaurs still roamed the earth, parents used to take time out of their busy schedules to sit down and answer their kids’ questions about life instead of telling them to go ask Alexa. It was a fairytale time when people actually cared about each other and weren’t glued to Netflix, Hulu, or their iPhones. It was a time when a kid felt comfortable approaching his dad and asking, “Where do babies come from?” To which Dad would reply, “Go ask your mother.” These nuggets of guidance usually took the form of axions…
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Rule-A-Palooza A young boy offers alternatives to the age-old golden rules
Ah, parenting. The never-ending roller coaster of joy, chaos, and the occasional urge to hide in the bathroom for five days. It’s a wild ride filled with sticky fingers, endless questions, and the delicate art of mediation with tiny humans who possess the negotiation skills of a cagey divorce lawyer. It’s like trying to persuade a tornado to slow down and follow a meticulously planned path. Children have the uncanny ability to challenge the status quo and question the rules we hold dear. They’re masters of testing boundaries and seeking their own path. As they grow, their individuality and unique personalities emerge, sometimes leading them to question the very principles…
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From Aisle to Asylum A Hilarious Send-off to the Madness of Newlywed Life
Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed guests, and fellow Rehab Rascals alumni, I stand before you today with a heart full of sincerity and a warm and welcoming spirit as we celebrate the union of my beautiful daughter, who we affectionately refer to as Snickerdoodle, and her dashing groom, Ziggy. Before I begin, I’d like to thank Aunt Petunia for bringing the potato salad, Cousin Archibald for the beef jerky, and all the other special guests who have gathered to partake in this celebration with us. Ziggy, we feel we’ve gained a new family member, and we want you to know that you are always welcome in our home anytime; as long…
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The Pee Palace Snorkle The ultimate fiery escape for your whole family!
Are you constantly plagued by the nightmare of a house fire turning your sweet dreams into a blazing inferno? Or maybe you’re haunted by thoughts of a hotel bonfire turning your relaxing vacation into a smoky disaster? Well, fret no more! The Pee Palace Snorkel is here to extinguish your fears and save your entire family! This bad boy is a six-foot long, high-density plastic tube that passes directly from your mouth, through the water in your toilet, and deep into the bathroom plumbing, providing you with a breath of fresh air when you need it the most! Made from the same durable material used by the SEAL Team Six…