Hey there. Dewie the cat here, and boy, do I have tales to spin about my paws-itively hilarious life with my human, Allen. Buckle up, it’s gonna be a wild ride! So, I popped into this world on a cool Thursday, March 3, 2022, in a not-so-glamorous vacant lot. Yeah, not exactly the plush beginning you’d expect for a charming…
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A Tail of True Love Man Marries His Cat in a Groundbreaking Ceremony
Let me tawk straight heah—when ya hear ’bout a guy marryin’ his cat in Bugtussle, Kentucky, ya might t’ink da world’s finally gone nuts. But stick around, ’cause dis ain’t just any ole tabloid fodder; it’s a bona fide love story that could only happen where chickens outnumber folks. So, picture dis: Allen Smith, a retired ski instructor wid a…
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From Aisle to Asylum A Hilarious Send-off to the Madness of Newlywed Life
Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed guests, and fellow Rehab Rascals alumni, I stand before you today with a heart full of sincerity and a warm and welcoming spirit as we celebrate the union of my beautiful daughter, who we affectionately refer to as Snickerdoodle, and her dashing groom, Ziggy. Before I begin, I’d like to thank Aunt Petunia for bringing the…
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You Won’t Be Getting a Birthday Card From Me I just don’t have the time
Next to having a root canal or prostate exam, I can’t imagine anything more abhorrent than spending an hour standing in front of a sea of birthday cards, trying to decide on the one that best says, “Happy birthday, Mom!” It’s not the cost. After all, most greeting cards will only lighten your wallet by a few bucks. No, it’s…