Hey there. Dewie the cat here, and boy, do I have tales to spin about my paws-itively hilarious life with my human, Allen. Buckle up, it’s gonna be a wild ride! So, I popped into this world on a cool Thursday, March 3, 2022, in a not-so-glamorous vacant lot. Yeah, not exactly the plush beginning you’d expect for a charming…
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A Tail of True Love Man Marries His Cat in a Groundbreaking Ceremony
Let me tawk straight heah—when ya hear ’bout a guy marryin’ his cat in Bugtussle, Kentucky, ya might t’ink da world’s finally gone nuts. But stick around, ’cause dis ain’t just any ole tabloid fodder; it’s a bona fide love story that could only happen where chickens outnumber folks. So, picture dis: Allen Smith, a retired ski instructor wid a…
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Edgar’s Last Lick A Dewie the Cat Investigation
It was 2 AM, and the phone rang, jolting me out of my dreams. With a voice as smooth as silk and as steady as a heartbeat, I introduced myself. “Cat. Dewie the Cat.” On the other end of the line, Detective Hull, sounding as weary as ever, said, “Dewie, we need you.” That’s all it took. I was up,…
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ChimpMingle.com I'm looking for a female in heat. Are you out there?
Hi ladies. My name is Mr. Gonhorrhea. Well, that’s not my real name. ChimpMingle told me to make up a catchy alias for my dating profile that describes something interesting about myself, so I went with that. I’m new to this whole online dating thing. I much prefer picking out a female in heat and climbing onto her backside. But,…
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Paws & Whiskers A Veterinarian Unravels the Cat Conundrum
“Life without a cat is like a sandwich without cheese – bland, unexciting, and utterly lacking in the joy of a good, hearty cheddar.” – Evangeline Higgledypiggledy I am thrilled to introduce my brand new advice column, “Paws & Whiskers: Unraveling the Cat Conundrum.” Hopefully, this column will serve as your guide to the perplexing world of cat ownership, tackling…