Hi ladies. My name is Mr. Gonhorrhea. Well, that’s not my real name. ChimpMingle told me to make up a catchy alias for my dating profile that describes something interesting about myself, so I went with that. I’m new to this whole online dating thing. I much prefer picking out a female in heat and climbing onto her backside. But,…
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Monkey in a Pink Canoe Why parents refuse to talk about the birds and the bees
“Where did I come from?” asked Shadrach as we pulled up to his football game at Fleigenbaum Field. Having never been married, I thought I’d be exempt from ever having to discuss the birds and the bees with a 6-year-old quarterback, so I never put much thought into what I’d say if asked. Looks like I was going to have…
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(Don’t Let Me Be) The Last Virgin in Saigon Song writing isn't as easy as it looks... even when you're trying to slide into home
I’d been fogging up the windows with Magda Biedermann for the better part of our senior year. As graduation approached, I had only one thing on my mind: consummating our relationship (and coincidentally, losing my standing as a virgin) before being drafted and sent off to Vietnam. Her motives were considerably more funereal: she wanted to get married and carry…
