With Rentals Like These, Who Needs Friends? Regaining familial tranquility with "Rent-a-Friend"

This started out as a bad year. In less than 6 months, I lost my job, condominium, car and all of my friends. Even the cat packed up her litter box and left. When my parents heard the bad news, they immediately snapped into action: they fled to Boca Raton and dropped me from their Christmas card list. The exodus continued with all of my aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews and my one remaining frat brother. Then it hit me. Friends and relatives are just things. Things you can rent. After the devastation settled in, I made up my mind that I was never going to own friends or family…