Five minutes after signing the contract, I dropped to the floor, gasping for air. Next to being waterboarded as a Vietnam POW, I could tell that editing this manuscript was going to be the most horrendous experience of my life: Inquiring my well-wishers, which is the deadliest mistake as inherently scheduled to jealousy or hawk eyesight on your wardrobe waiting…
-
-
The Secrets Behind Writing Riveting Television Screenplays You too can become filthy rich by crafting exciting police, courtroom, and crime scene investigation television dramas
Prosecutor: “You killed her, didn’t you!” Defendant: “No, no. I’m innocent.” Prosecutor: “Admit it. Your DNA was all over the maid!” Defendant: “Alright, alright. I did it. Now, please. Let go of my throat.” There’s no secret to writing riveting screenplays for television. I should know. I’ve written thousands of them. From Naked Homicide and The Streets of Wichita, Kansas…
-
Where’s Your Sense of Humor? An award-winning author shares how to find humor in everything you write
Every year after winning the Pulitzer Prize for humor, I’m besieged with questions from new writers about how I went about writing my award-winning humor pieces. They run the gamut from “What in the world were you thinking?” to “Were you drunk when you wrote that?” So, to clear up the confusion, I thought I’d take a moment to offer…
-
What’s Your Platform? And why you should have one before writing your book
My friends, Lee’s Anti-bilious pills are excellently adapted to carry off superfluous bile, restore and amend the appetite, produce free perspiration, and thereby prevent constipation, lumbago, softening of the brain and Bronze John fever. They’re celebrated for removing habitual costiveness, dropsy, and severe headaches, and ought to be taken by all persons on a change of climate. When the West…
-
Writing What They Meant to Say Why ghostwriters often struggle with their clients' voices
“What is this rubbish? I don’t talk like that! Y’all need to go back and re-write the whole dang thing. Make it sound more like me, or I ain’t gonna pay ye.” And, so went the opening volley of comments from my newest ghostwriting client after he read my first draft of his book. It was our first time working…
