Prosecutor: “You killed her, didn’t you!” Defendant: “No, no. I’m innocent.” Prosecutor: “Admit it. Your DNA was all over the maid!” Defendant: “Alright, alright. I did it. Now, please. Let go of my throat.” There’s no secret to writing riveting screenplays for television. I should know. I’ve written thousands of them. From Naked Homicide and The Streets of Wichita, Kansas to every conceivable flavor of Law & Order and CSI series known to man. I’ve won 37 Emmys, 15 Golden Globes and have been nominated for more than a dozen Academy Awards, 6 Tonys, and 3 Grammys. But, as I get on in years, I feel compelled to share some…
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Where’s Your Sense of Humor? An award-winning author shares how to find humor in everything you write
Every year after winning the Pulitzer Prize for humor, I’m besieged with questions from new writers about how I went about writing my award-winning humor pieces. They run the gamut from “What in the world were you thinking?” to “Were you drunk when you wrote that?” So, to clear up the confusion, I thought I’d take a moment to offer a few suggestions on how to write stunning humor pieces, unlike anything people have seen before. What most non-writers don’t know is writing brilliant humor pieces is infinitely harder than writing non-fiction. The best humor pieces are steeped in research. For instance, my article, The Greatest Stories Never Told was…
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What’s Your Platform? And why you should have one before writing your book
My friends, Lee’s Anti-bilious pills are excellently adapted to carry off superfluous bile, restore and amend the appetite, produce free perspiration, and thereby prevent constipation, lumbago, softening of the brain and Bronze John fever. They’re celebrated for removing habitual costiveness, dropsy, and severe headaches, and ought to be taken by all persons on a change of climate. When the West was wild and social media was still 150 years away, snake oil salesmen rambled from town to town hawking their mystery potions, capable of curing everything that ailed ya. They stood on their rickety platforms and were masters at closing sales. Even before they rolled into town, destitute farmers lined…
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Writing What They Meant to Say Why ghostwriters often struggle with their clients' voices
“What is this rubbish? I don’t talk like that! Y’all need to go back and re-write the whole dang thing. Make it sound more like me, or I ain’t gonna pay ye.” And, so went the opening volley of comments from my newest ghostwriting client after he read my first draft of his book. It was our first time working together and it became immediately apparent that we had a long road ahead of us. Or, as Desi Arnaz once said, I had a “lot of splainin’ to do.” As a professional ghostwriter, I’m in the enviable position of telling other people’s intimate stories, capturing their thoughts and emotions, digesting…
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On Becoming a Successful Writer Everything you need to know to guarantee your success as a writer
Do you have a book in you? Most people think they do. Sometimes, more than one. If you’re ready to become a best-selling writer, take a moment to review the steps below. These are just a few of hundreds behind successfully selling books. The steps below are divided into four areas: Before you begin writing, Developing your manuscript, Marketing and Follow-up and maintenance. The suggestions aren’t necessarily in order, so pick and choose which ones you want to use, and when to use them. The important thing is let technology and social media work for you behind the scenes, while you focus on other efforts that require in-person visits. Getting…
