Near Death Experiences Aren’t All They’re Cracked Up to Be Make sure you read the brochure before you go

It’s about time you got here,” said God. “Sorry, man. I would have been here earlier, but there was a humongous traffic accident on I-70 on my way out of town. Actually, it was MY accident, but you probably already know that.” He did. After all, he was God. The whole affair started late one Friday afternoon on my way out of town to go skiing. The blizzard tangled up traffic for miles, with motorists ricocheting off of each other, against the center divider like pin balls. But, what really did me in was trying to wolf down a foot-long, chili-cheese dog while balancing a bong in my lap. Out…