The Toadspit Gazette February 7, 2025 By Percival H. Greeblethorpe Published by The Toadspit Gazette Toadspit, Nebraska In an unprecedented move designed to either streamline government operations or confuse everyone involved, the Trump administration has announced the formation of the Bureau of Energy, Housing, and Livestock Stability—a fusion of the Department of Energy and the Department of Housing and Urban Development, with a surprise cameo by, you guessed it, livestock. “If we can harness cow body heat to power microwaves in urban apartments, then frankly, the future is udderly promising.” – Cletus Farnsworth Wimple According to the hastily typed press release, the Department of Energy and the Department of Housing…
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Why Your Résumé Needs a Personality Disorder The Case for Tailoring, Tweaking, and Transforming Using ChatGPT
Back in the day, job hunting was a numbers game. You cranked out a halfway decent resume, sent it to as many companies as possible, and waited for the inevitable cycle: rejection, rejection, rejection, then accidental hire. Persistence was key. Originality was not. But today it’s a whole different ballgame. Technology has turned the job market into a digital gladiator arena. And, the gatekeeper to your dream job isn’t even human. It’s an algorithm. Applicant Tracking Systems (ATS) have been the norm for years, scanning resumes for keywords, filtering out the “unqualified,” and eliminating 75% of applicants before any human has the chance to be unimpressed. But fear not, job…
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The Fruitcake Files No-Nonsense Tips for Surviving Modern Relationships
The “Fruitcake Lady” was Marie Rudisill, an American author and television personality known for her candid, humorous, and often salty advice. She gained fame in the early 2000s through her appearances on “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” during a segment called “Ask the Fruitcake Lady.” She became a viral sensation thanks to her quick wit, straightforward demeanor, and unfiltered advice. Her segments covered a range of topics, from relationships to etiquette, with a biting humor that audiences adored. We’re honored to present some of them here. How do you handle a husband who snores like a freight train? Well, let me tell ya somethin’, dealin’ with a husband who snores…
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The Bottle: Benefits or Boozy Balderdash? Opinions split over the drink, dividing friends and igniting family reunions
January 27, 2025 By Ethelbert Clagget The Daily Hogwash Pickle Flats, Nebraska In a poll that could shake the bottoms of bars across the Midwest, an explosive new survey suggests that alcohol’s benefits and risks are duking it out like two drunks arguing over the last basket of wings at a dive bar. Experts are both thrilled and horrified, though most respondents just shrugged and opened another beer. Dr. Archibald Tuttlebeam, a so-called expert in Liquid Sociology at the highly dubious Poughkeepsie Institute of Fluid Studies, exclaimed, “It’s clear as moonshine—alcohol is a cornerstone of human civilization! Without it, we’d still be huddled in caves, gnawing on raw turnips. Sure,…
