The Muskrat Hollow Herald The Crisis of Behavioral Outburst Oscillation Yielding Aggression and Hysteria (BOOYAH) January 30, 2025 By Eustace Melvin Prattleford Published by The Muskrat Hollow Herald Muskrat Hollow, Indiana In a turn of events that has both baffled experts and made family reunions significantly more volatile, a new psychological disorder is sweeping through unsuspecting communities. Behavioral Outburst Oscillation Yielding Aggression and Hysteria, known in medical circles as BOOYAH, is a condition in which sufferers experience sudden, extreme shifts in emotion, often resulting in shouting, arm flailing, and the occasional dramatic collapse onto furniture. Dr. Cornelius Festus Higgenbottom, a specialist in Unstable Emotional Dynamics at the Upper Missouri Institute…

The Parsnip Junction Sentinel The Alarming Spread of Sudden Onset Chronic Kinetic Oscillation (SOCKO) January 30, 2025 By Elbert Virgil Dunsworth Published by The Parsnip Junction Sentinel Parsnip Junction, Missouri In what can only be described as a medical mystery wrapped in an interpretive dance, scientists have recently identified Sudden Onset Chronic Kinetic Oscillation (SOCKO), a disorder characterized by involuntary, rhythmically exaggerated limb movements, usually triggered by stress, excitement, or exposure to polka music at unexpected volumes. According to Dr. Aloysius Clement Wifflebottom, a lead researcher in Neurological Kinetics at the Western Nebraska Institute of Unproven Science, SOCKO is “an unfortunate miscommunication between the cerebellum and motor neurons, leading to…