I can’t stand the sight of blood. I’m not too wild about vomit or feces, either, but I’ve managed to evade both by steering clear of retirement homes and small children. So, when it came time to train as a phlebotomist, I surprised everyone. Including myself. I’d always wanted to be a vampire. I was enrolled in a graduate program…
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The Scourge of Notre Dame Attending Catholic school is like getting accepted for SEAL training when you’re 14 years old
“I will not throw chalk at Nathan Pickler’s head. I will not throw chalk at Nathan Pickler’s head. I will not throw chalk at Nathan Pickler’s head.” And so on and so on. I was one step closer to becoming the scourge of Notre Dame. After cutting up and looking for ways to continually push the envelope, you’d think that…
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New Horizons in Weight Control The secret to losing weight... without ever going on a diet
During one of my recent nocturnal online shopping trips, I came across a number of great new products designed for weight control. Well, they hadn’t actually become products yet, but were still in the “figment of someone’s imagination” phase – based enough in reality to have been issued patents, but still miles away from seeing the light of day. I…
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Golf Course Thugs The subtlties of contact golf, pilfering balls and napalming fairways
I love sports. And, considering there isn’t an athletic gene in my entire family, I manage to do pretty well at anything I decide to try – except golf. Looking back, I’m not really sure why I took up golf in the first place. It’s the one sport that, the harder I tried, the worse I got. I was in…
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Hand Gestures Grunts, gestures and the sounds we make to communicate
Late last night, I was yanked away from the season finale of “The Desperate Lives of Atlanta Housewives” by an urgent knock on the door. It was Ping. Ping recently emigrated from Thailand and is boning up for his citizenship examination by taking English lessons. Taking pity on anyone having to learn English as an adult, I graciously volunteered to…
