Barbara Tedesco was easily the hottest girl in my Poli Sci class. She was so hot, her aura screamed, “Don’t even bother to hit on me until you get your nose fixed, lose those ridiculous glasses and buy a new car.” So, when I ran into her several years later, I was surprised she remembered my name, let alone that…
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Dealin’ Delbert’s Fine Used Babies The joy of shopping online for our discount baby
With the economy in the toilet for the third straight year, Matt and Kimberly Williams were beginning to doubt they’d ever be able to afford the large brood of babies they dreamed about while dating at Harvard. Matt lost his job as the Chief Financial Officer at Preston Porsche & Audi, while Kimberly was reduced to reading Tarot Cards in…
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The Doctor Wiww See You Now Problems with voice and diction? Elmer Fudd to the wescue
After spending a week in the ICU, the only residual effect keeping me from returning to work was a minor pronunciation impediment, so my neurologist recommended I start working with a speech pathologist. Fortunately, one of the country’s top specialists worked right down the street. Being in the entertainment industry, I’d heard of the doctor and the valuable work he…
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Screenplays Are Easy What do MASH, Law & Order and The Sopranos have in common?
Late Sunday evening, the phone rang. Which, in and of itself wouldn’t be remarkable except that I had been in the Federal Witness Protection Program for over six months. What was more intriguing was the nature of the call and how it would change my life forever–writing Academy Award worthy screenplays. “Hello, is this Allen Smith?” It is. “This is…
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The $84 Windpipe Never order anything you can't spell
“Never eat at a restaurant where the waiters wear spoons around their necks.” That was the cost-conscious advice my rabbi proffered as I was trying to decide where to celebrate the first day of my girlfriend’s Rumspringa. I met Abhilasha Maddox online through Hotamishsingles.com and wanted to mask my stinginess by treating her to an upscale dinner at Reynaldo’s. My…
