January 24, 2025 By Dragoslav Karpovich The Radish Review Kulen Vakuf, Bosnia and Herzegovina A new global definition of obesity has emerged, causing ripples—or perhaps mere puddles—across the medical world. The announcement suggests that instead of solely using the Body Mass Index (BMI) to measure obesity, other factors like waist circumference and something called “adiposity” should be considered. What this means for the 890 million adults currently labeled as “fatter than a Sumo wrestler at an all-you-can-eat buffet” is still unclear, but at least they’ve been given something new to argue about. “This is groundbreaking!” proclaimed Professor Milorad Tufekcic from the Institute of Hypothetical Health Studies in Tuzla, Bosnia. “Finally,…
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Boredom Can Be Worse Than Watching Paint Dry The revolutionary discovery about why doing nothing is exhausting
January 22, 2025 By Andželko Ploščić, The Nevidljivi Glas Prijedor, Bosnia and Herzegovina Boredom has officially reached an existential crisis, according to the latest study that no one asked for. While everyone assumes boredom is just an annoying byproduct of being alive, researchers have now declared it the “black hole of human existence,” an emotional vacuum capable of sucking out joy faster than an awkward family dinner. Dr. Ljudmila Korić, a certified expert in Ambivalent Studies at the Institute of Mystical Research in Obrenovac, explained, “Boredom is not just a lack of activity. It’s a profound spiritual scream from your soul begging for anything remotely interesting. It’s as if your…
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Decoding the Benefits of Fermented Beverage Consumption Can a bottle of red really save your soul, or just make you think it can?
January 24, 2025 By Ljubomir Djakovic, The Leskovac Gazette Leskovac, Serbia The debate over whether alcohol is the nectar of the gods or just a fast track to bad karaoke persists with new vigor, thanks to a recent poll conducted by people who may or may not have had too much Chardonnay themselves. As numbers flutter and scientific jargon wafts through the air like the bouquet of a cheap table wine, the public is left scratching their heads—likely hungover from a mix of data and Merlot. Dr. Bogdan Raznarovich, Senior Fermentation Wellness Analyst at the University of Mystical Liquids, offers a spirited defense of alcohol’s virtues. “We have conducted research…
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Spirit Airlines and the Battle for Fabric Freedoms The airline industry just got a whole lot more spirited
January 24, 2025 By Davor Kelemenovic, The Veliki Gradski Glasnik, Serbia In a bold move that has left fashion enthusiasts scratching their beret-covered heads, Spirit Airlines has revised its dress code policy to address what insiders are calling “a crisis of questionable couture.” While the airline insists the changes are merely a tweak to its sartorial standards, critics argue this is nothing short of an aviation apocalypse. Experts in the field of Aesthetic Avionics weighed in with wildly divergent opinions. Dr. Galina Shojevic of the International Institute of Airborne Elegance remarked, “Spirit Airlines has always been a beacon of affordable adventure. By curbing the chaos of inappropriate attire, they’re preserving…
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Fragile Eggs and Climbing Plants Revisiting Three Classic Fairy Tales with Scientific Clarity
For generations, children have delighted to the timeless magic of listening to their parents read the Brothers Grimm fairy tales. These classic stories have captivated young minds, sparking imaginations and fostering a love of storytelling—but in the same, stagnant voice. Through the miracle of artificial intelligence, these tales have now been translated into Scientialecta, the official language of scientists all over the world, offering a fresh perspective on their timeless charm. Here is a collection of three of the most beloved and enduring fairy tales, translated into Scientialecta. The Tale of Ovocorpus Fragilis (Humpty Dumpty) A structurally fragile, ovoid-shaped entity, was situated atop an elevated linear surface designed to demarcate…
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