I was born to be a Walmart Greeter. It’s in my blood, like high cholesterol and disenchantment. My grandfather, Earl “Pops” Haskins, manned the door of Store #118 for 22 years, armed with nothing but a crooked smile and a wooden cane he used to redirect feral children. My mother, Loretta Mae, served during the great “Plastic Bag Transition of…
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The Medieval TV Guide Special Fall Program
Wednesday4:30 Channel 5 WNBQ Leave It to Beaver—Comedy Beaver Cleaver and his pal Larry Mondello ditch class for a day of fun and mischief. A lighthearted look at childhood hijinks and 1950s family values through the wide-eyed wonder of young “Beaver” Cleaver. In the hamlet of Stillmere-upon-Figwort, young Theobald “Beaver” Clæver, second son of Goodman Wyllyam and Dame Heneretta of…
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Birthing a Conga Line Twenty babies, one womb, and a whole lot of mayhem
If you’ve ever tuned in to The Learning Channel, you’ve undoubtedly come across America’s favorite competitive fertility families: “Quints by Surprise” “Sweet Home Sextuplets” “OutDaughtered” “19 Kids and Counting” These families made household chaos a spectator sport. With each passing season, viewers watched in slack-jawed amazement as coordinated diaper changes, meal prep for nine, and synchronized tantrums became normal. But…
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Gold Leaf and Gossip How courtly chatter became a breeding ground for iconic idioms
idiom [ˈɪd.i.əm] noun A phrase whose meaning isn’t literal but understood through common use (e.g., kick the bucket). Also refers to a distinctive way of speaking or expressing unique to a group, language, or era. Idioms. Those quirky little nuggets of speech we casually toss into conversations like linguistic seasoning aren’t exactly modern inventions. Believe it or not, they started…
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Steampunking’s Greatest Hits Leather, Lace, and Laser-Powered Lullabies
steampunk noun /ˈstiːmˌpʌŋk/ A genre and aesthetic combining 19th-century steam-powered technology with futuristic inventions, often set in an alternate Victorian-era world and characterized by retrofuturistic fashion, machinery, and design. Once-rebellious rock anthems from the ’70s and ’80s are hitting that awkward phase, somewhere between timeless and timeworn. What once shook stadiums now barely stirs a Bluetooth speaker, as the Spotify…
