Francis Scott Key was an American Lawyer famous for writing the text behind The Star-Spangled Banner. But, have you ever wondered how our national anthem would have turned out if he was in some other line of work? Let’s find out. Fruit Vendor Oh, say can you see, by the banana’s bright gleam, What so proudly we bit at the apple’s last dream, Whose broad grapes and bright cherries danced through the fig, O’er the watermelons we watched, gallantly spinning big, And the raspberry’s red glare, blueberries bursting in air, Gave proof through the night that our mango was still there. O say does that star-spangled lemon yet rave, O’er…
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When Life Gives You Gorilla Glue Unbelievable Tales of Everyday Absurdities
Two years ago, I shared an article about my disdain for having to stand in front of a sea of birthday cards, trying to choose just one. It took me over an hour. The experience was so harrowing that I went home and wrote one of my most successful articles, You Won’t Be Getting a Birthday Card from Me I just don’t have the time. The article kicked off with, The thing of it is, there are plenty of cards for birthdays, graduations, or having babies. But there are no sympathy cards written for the unfortunate souls who swallow a bag of nails or cut their toes off with a…
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A Tail of True Love Man Marries His Cat in a Groundbreaking Ceremony
Let me tawk straight heah—when ya hear ’bout a guy marryin’ his cat in Bugtussle, Kentucky, ya might t’ink da world’s finally gone nuts. But stick around, ’cause dis ain’t just any ole tabloid fodder; it’s a bona fide love story that could only happen where chickens outnumber folks. So, picture dis: Allen Smith, a retired ski instructor wid a knack for adventure, meets Dewie, a tabby cat, on some kooky online dating site for pets. Yeah, ya heard right—online datin’ for pets! Dis ain’t no typical “boy meets girl” gig; it’s “man meets cat,” and not just at da local bar, but on “Da Waggle and Woof Society” website.…
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What Famous Love Ballads Mean to Beaver Cleaver He's Only Just Begun
Golly, isn’t it something when a song starts playing, and whoosh! You’re like a time traveler, zooming back to when life was as sweet as Mom’s apple pie. Just like that tune “We’ve Only Just Begun” by The Carpenters, it reminds me of starting new adventures, like the time Wally and I decided to build that fort in the backyard. Or “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston, gosh, it’s like when you have to say goodbye to a best pal, but you know deep down, you’ll always be friends. And hey, remember “Longer” by Dan Fogelberg? It’s like those endless summer days, playing catch until the streetlights come…
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What Do You Do at Work Daddy? Exploring the Many Sides of Fatherhood Using ChatGPT
When I was a kid, I had no idea what my Dad did for a living. Like most of my friends, I was clueless about what our dads did all day. I knew that every morning, he’d take off before I woke up, and return home just in time for dinner. That was about the extent of it. Why I never asked him how he supported his family, is beyond me. At the time, it just didn’t occur to me to ask. So, I leaped at the opportunity to ask ChatGPT for its help with a six-year-old boy asking his dad what he did for a living, as a Social…