By the time I was a pre-pubescent kid, I knew a lot about kisses and kissing. All of it from the movies. Every Saturday afternoon, I’d take copious notes, jotting down the techniques of Humphrey Bogart, Montgomery Clift and Charleton Heston. I thrashed around in my seat as Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr were buffeted about in the surf, clinging to the lip-lock that would make them forever famous in “From Here to Eternity.” Then, I’d go home and practice on Bailey, our dog. When I reached high school things really began to heat up. Kissing was all the guys in the Geography Club ever talked about. “Did you lay…
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Three Nickels, a Bent Paper Clip and Two Dead Flies Give me enough time and I can lose anything
I always enjoy my visits to Dr. Ramakrishna’s office. Not because I like going to the doctor, but because it’s the only chance I get to catch up on three-year-old issues of Amateur Pilot, Bow Hunters Magazine and Nursing Administration Quarterly. That’s where I ran across an article written for ADHD sufferers: “How to Stop Losing Things and Find Happiness.” I don’t have ADHD, but I do share many of the same symptoms. Like losing things. As a first grader, I never lost anything – largely because I’d wear the same clothes for as long as a month and never owned a watch, earrings or necklace. Six-year-olds usually don’t drive,…
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You Can’t Compete with a Serial Killer How I lost to a ringer in The Dating Game
Barbara Tedesco was easily the hottest girl in my Poli Sci class. She was so hot, her aura screamed, “Don’t even bother to hit on me until you get your nose fixed, lose those ridiculous glasses and buy a new car.” So, when I ran into her several years later, I was surprised she remembered my name, let alone that she took the time to strike up a conversation. I should have known she was up to something. “How would you like to be a contestant on ‘The Dating Game?” she asked. After graduation, Barbara took a job as a production assistant with the ABC Television Network in Los Angeles.…
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Don Ho Versus the Rats The rats, geckos, lizards, snakes, spiders and toads of Waikiki
From the moment my brother invited me to visit him on the north shore of Oahu, all I could think about was the fragrance of Hibiscus wafting through the evening air, miles of white sand beaches, steel guitar and ukulele music and papayas growing in the front yard. What I hadn’t thought about were the rats. Besides being home to quaint Waikiki, the Polynesian Cultural Center, outrigger canoe rides and bronzed girls in grass skirts, Oahu is famous for its nightlife: 7 varieties of Geckos, 17 species of amphibians, dozens of poisonous lizards, snakes, spiders, frogs, toads, centipedes and the biggest rats known to man. Rats that carry fatal diseases…
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New Horizons in Weight Control The secret to losing weight... without ever going on a diet
During one of my recent nocturnal online shopping trips, I came across a number of great new products designed for weight control. Well, they hadn’t actually become products yet, but were still in the “figment of someone’s imagination” phase – based enough in reality to have been issued patents, but still miles away from seeing the light of day. I did, however, manage to find three that were for sale, so I scooped them up before they disappeared from the market. Scientists and Registered Dieticians agree that most of us are overweight because they eat too much, too fast. That’s where the Alarm Fork comes in. This handy battery-operated utensil…