Thinking back to my childhood, my mother had the process of multi-tasking errands down cold. She’d pop a load of dirty laundry into the washer, drive to the market, pick up the dry cleaning, pay my older brother’s parking tickets, and stop by the bank just in time to get home and move the clean wash into the dryer. Then, she’d make dinner for a family of four. How on earth did she do it? How can I apply my mother’s errand skills to my own life? It’s simple. I just need to get organized. The first thing I did was create an Excel spreadsheet with two columns: in column…
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The Real Secret to Using Online Dating An expert helps would be daters discover the truth behind on-line dating
It’s Saturday night around 11:30 and I’ve been telling Carol about the time I visited Nepal while on break from Harvard Medical School. I was telling Leslie how I excel at skiing the steeps in the Chugach mountain range and Sharon and I were engaged in a long discussion about our favorite restaurants in Tuscany. All from the comfort of my barcalounger using my online dating app. I haven’t been on a date in over five years, so it’s easy to understand why I’ve grown so comfortable with sidling up to women through Match.com, Great-Expectations.com, WaaaayOverThirtySingles.com, and Plentyof Fish.com – while wallowing in the safety that only deception and miles…
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The End of a Love Affair The first same-person marriage fails. News at 11:00
Boston, MASS – In a sad epilogue to an earlier published story, Roland Nigland, 33, has filed for divorce from himself citing irreconcilable differences. Readers may recall that Nigland, of Boston, Massachusetts became the first person to publicly profess his love for himself in what was believed to be the first same-person love affair and marriage on record. “I honestly don’t know what happened,” said Nigland. “I was so much in love with myself. After the wedding, I set up house in a renovated Beacon Hill apartment, found a new job and made plans to start a family. All the usual stuff. But then, just as quickly, things began to…
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Feng Shui-ing My Chakras How mal-aligned chakras, auras and baguas ruined one man's life... and the inside of his house trailer
Dr. Levenfish was baffled. There was nothing more western medicine could do to pull me out of the depths of my depression. Feeling like my life had totally unraveled, I began entertaining thoughts of non-traditional methods of suicide like handcuffing myself to my mother-in-law. But I never had the courage to follow through with it… at least until I discovered Feng Shui. “Well, since you’ve made the decision to live,” said Dr. Levenfish, “I guess we should start looking at alternative solutions. Have you ever thought about trying Chinese medicine? Maybe something that might correct your maligned Chakras?” I gasped. Up until now, I didn’t even know I had Chakras,…
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For Better or for Worse The amazing story of Roland Nigland--the first man to marry himself
Boston, Mass. – In a landmark case for matrimonial rights, a Boston man married himself today in a private service. Roland Nigland, 31, stood before a municipal judge and a small gathering of close friends to profess his love to himself in what is believed to be the first same-person marriage on record. “From the moment that I saw my reflection in the mirror,” said Nigland, “I fell in love with myself.” Nigland confessed that the first time that he started to experience strong feelings for himself was in the third grade. “I snuck into my room the other morning and pressed my nose into a hamper of my dirty…
