Home Life Archives - Page 10 of 16 - Allen R Smith

All Entries, Family, Home Life, Humor, Romance

My Sizzling Russian Bride Finding "Ms. Right" after Farmersonly, GothicMatch, STDFriends, CougarWomen, DirtyEncounters and Meet-an-Inmate.com

July 31, 2018

By the time I found Svetlana, my Russian bride, I knew I was in love. Having been tossed off all the run-of-the-mill American online dating sites like Farmersonly, GothicMatch, STDFriends, CougarWomen, DirtyEncounters and Meet-an-Inmate.com, I finally resorted to trolling for eastern European women on SizzlingRussianBrides.com. That’s where my troubles began. After combing through thousands of profiles of beautiful Russian women, I settled on someone I thought could be “the one.” Svetlana was a voluptuous 27-year-old dental hygienist from the small village of Trochenbrod. According to her profile, she was college educated, spoke “some English” and loved reading, cooking, photography and pole vaulting. Her carefully crafted message read, “Hi. I’m Svetlana.…

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Pardon Me, But You’re Stepping on My Boundaries They’re not much but they’re all we have

July 29, 2018

The first thing I noticed about the gleaming new Porsche was the way it was parked–strategically straddling a disabled space and the one next to it—my parking space. But, instead of throwing a hissy fit, I calmly took out my car keys and gouged a continuous line along the entire side of the car. That is, after I surgically removed both windshield wipers and liberated the air from all four tires. So much for social and personal boundaries. I suppose to some my reaction might have been a tad over the top for something as innocuous as stealing a parking space. But, it’s my space. It’s the one possession I…

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The Great Sperm Audition Getting paid to do what comes naturally
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All Entries, Appearance, Home Life, Humor

Urban Manouflage A man tries lipstick, eyeliner and Radiance Wonder Glow... and lives to talk about it

November 23, 2017

Three days after my divorce was final, I decided to get back into the game. I’d been single long enough. “Well, if you’re going to start dating again, you had better do something about the way you look,” complained my brother. He had a point. I looked old and tired. Well beyond my years. And, while I’ve always considered my body a temple, lately I allowed it to deteriorate to an urban housing tract; especially my face. I had to do something, and do it fast. One of the most popular trends modern men are using to improve the way they look is men’s cosmetics. Like coloring their hair, men’s…

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The Risks of Violins on Television Ways to reduce violins in the schools, churches and synagogues
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The Tour De France Has a Female Winner! How the Stay Free Mini-pad team destroyed professional cycling forever
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Lies are Like Boomerangs No matter how talented you are at telling whoppers, eventually, they’ll come back to haunt you.
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All Entries, Education, Family, Home Life, Humor, Medicine

Monkey in a Pink Canoe Why parents refuse to talk about the birds and the bees

November 11, 2017

“Where did I come from?” asked Shadrach as we pulled up to his football game at Fleigenbaum Field. Having never been married, I thought I’d be exempt from ever having to discuss the birds and the bees with a 6-year-old quarterback, so I never put much thought into what I’d say if asked. Looks like I was going to have to punt. “Well, Shadrach, each month, in one of your mommy’s two ovaries, a few immature eggs develop into follicles. The mature follicle releases an egg during ovulation, which turns into the corpus luteum. Progesterone prepares the endometrium in anticipation of the embryo. Then, your daddy’s sperm travels up the…

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I’m Mad as Hell and I’m Not Going to Interview Anymore Or, what’s gone wrong with the current job search process?
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All Entries, Communication, Entertainment and Show Business, Health, History, Home Life, Humor, Life and Death, Medicine

The Golden Era of Cigarette Ads When cigarette smoking, big tobacco and lung cancer were cool

October 22, 2017

When Sir Walter Raleigh helped to popularize tobacco during the 16th century, he probably had no idea that he would be responsible for cigarette ads; one of the largest and most profitable advertising campaigns in the history of Madison Avenue. Campaigns that would see a single product go from lifestyle enhancement to a pariah of the medical community within a matter of years. Give Me Your Young at Heart Before their negative association with health, cigarettes were marketed to successful young men and women as a way to relax and get more out of life. Advertisements were filled with virile, athletic men and women prancing around tennis courts in snow-white…

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