Malibu, California—In an effort to redeem himself after his embarrassing DUI arrest, the Academy Award-winning director, Mel Gibson, is poised to release two new film projects: “Ghetto,” written entirely in Ebonics and its sequel, “Malcolm Brown, M.D.,” scripted in Pig Latin. Gibson, famous for producing other films like “The Passion of the Christ” and “Apocolypto,” that were made using the…
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Smoke ‘Em if Ya Got ‘Em It was easy quitting heroin. Smoking was tough
When I was sixteen, my biggest goal in life was to learn how to smoke. Not because I thought it was particularly good for me, but because hanging around a street corner, sucking on a cigarette butt commanded just about as much respect as any post-pubescent male could expect out of life. And, who wouldn’t respect someone for spending their…
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Feng Shui-ing My Chakras How mal-aligned chakras, auras and baguas ruined one man's life... and the inside of his house trailer
Dr. Levenfish was baffled. There was nothing more western medicine could do to pull me out of the depths of my depression. Feeling like my life had totally unraveled, I began entertaining thoughts of non-traditional methods of suicide like handcuffing myself to my mother-in-law. But I never had the courage to follow through with it… at least until I discovered…
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Can Stress Cause Me to Gain Weight? How much you eat may not be the only reason you're gaining weight
Cave women had it easy. Except for the occasional attack by a saber-tooth tiger, the only stress in their lives was foraging enough food to feed their families and keeping the dirt floor clean. How did we get so stressed? Fast forward to modern times, we’re deluged with stressors that begin the moment we wake: checking our email, getting the…
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Pardon Me, But You’re Stepping on My Boundaries They’re not much but they’re all we have
The first thing I noticed about the gleaming new Porsche was the way it was parked–strategically straddling a disabled space and the one next to it—my parking space. But, instead of throwing a hissy fit, I calmly took out my car keys and gouged a continuous line along the entire side of the car. That is, after I surgically removed…
