There’s something uniquely sinister about the second doctor’s appointment. Something dark, cold, and vaguely antiseptic that sets it apart from the friendly handshake of the first and the resigned acceptance of the third and fourth. The first appointment is often a warm-up, a meet-and-greet with a stethoscope. You show up as a mystery, an unopened file, a symptom in a…
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Chronicles of Discomfort My Life with the World’s Weirdest Emotional Support Animals
Most people, when faced with emotional turmoil or the existential hollowness that can accompany a breakup, life change, or midlife cheese crisis, turn to traditional emotional support animals (ESA). The kind you can walk on a leash, teach to fetch, or post about on social media without having to explain yourself to the FBI. Dogs. Cats. Occasionally, a snake. But…
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Your Senior Trip The Ups and Downs of Staying on Your Feet After 65
It happened somewhere over the Rockies, midflight to Denver, when our 747 decided to impersonate a bucking bronco. Luggage compartments popped open like jack-in-the-boxes, a snack cart took a nosedive into first class, and my seatmate—a silver-foxed gentleman with a face like a wise walnut—was flailing for his armrest like it owed him money. “This is nothing,” he bellowed, barely…
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Impulse Control Has Left the Building bvFTD: The Elvis of neurological disorders
Finding accurate, easy-to-read information on the internet these days is like trying to brush your teeth while eating Oreos. Sure, there are plenty of posts, tweets, threads, and AI-generated “expert” breakdowns—but how much of it is actually helpful? These days, everybody with a Wi-Fi connection and a ring light seems to think they’re a neurologist. And trying to understand something…
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From ScrotoGlow to GooGobbler A Consumer’s Guide to the Most Questionable Personal Products Ever Reviewed - Part One of Four
Welcome to the dark underbelly of product reviews. The ones you won’t see sandwiched between car commercials and anti-aging cream ads. These are the real MVPs of the human experience, the hush-hush necessities that exist in the shadows of polite society, waiting to make your life marginally better—or spectacularly worse. From devices that promise to realign body parts, to contraptions…
