For as long as I can remember, man, I’ve always been puzzled by the lyrics of “White Room,” by the smokin’ hot rock group Cream, man. From the moment I heard it in 1968, I was like, “Whoa, dude.” I was hooked, man. I loved the music, even though I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what it was about, man. So, I went to the library and looked it up. White Room, noun “…a room from which all contaminants have been eliminated and in which temperature, humidity, and pressure are controlled.” –Webster’s New World College Dictionary, 4th Edition That was absolutely no help, man. Why would someone write an entire…
-
-
Kermit the Frog Gets a Loan Narrated by Vincent LaGuardia Gambini
A frog walks into a bank. He goes up to a bank teller who has a little name tag on as they usually do. On it, it says “Patricia Whack.” So, the frog asks her, “Can I get a loan? “Well, I don’t know,” she says. “you’re a frog.” “Well, I know, but I still want a loan.” “What’s your name?” “Kermit” “You’re not Mr. Frog?” “No, no, no. My mother’s a frog so she named me Kermit. Mick Jagger is my father, so I’m named Kermit Jagger. Anyway, I want a $30,000 loan for a new lily pad” “Well you can’t get a loan. I mean, what do you…
-
Legends of the Turntable Five Albums That Rocked the '70s World
Do you remember what you were doing in 1977? The kind of car were driving, or the name of the person you were dating? Or maybe you weren’t even a twinkle in your parents’ eyes yet, and your most rock ‘n’ roll experience to date involves streaming classic hits on your smartphone. Well, buckle up, because, through the wonders of ChatGPT, we’re diving headfirst into the era of shag carpets, disco balls, and some of the most unforgettable classic rock albums of all time. We’re talking about a time when Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours was the soundtrack for every heartbreak, Pink Floyd’s The Wall provided the backdrop for philosophical musings, the…
-
Thumbs in the Vault – Part One The Siskel & Ebert Reviews You Weren't Meant to See
In the golden era of film criticism, two names stood as giants among mere mortals: Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert. These American film critics became household names through their groundbreaking show, “At the Movies with Siskel and Ebert,” which aired from 1982 to 1986. Known for their spirited debates, razor-sharp wit, and their iconic “Thumbs Up” or “Thumbs Down” rating system, Siskel and Ebert didn’t just review movies. They skewered them, transcending all other traditional forms of entertainment. However, not all of the treasures from the Siskel and Ebert vault were shared with the public. Amidst their televised critiques lies a trove of what can only be described as “The…
-
Thumbs in the Vault – Part Two The Siskel & Ebert Reviews You Weren't Meant to See
In Part One of Thumbs in the Vault – The Siskel & Ebert Reviews You Weren’t Meant to See we enjoyed our first chance to read some of the film reviews by Siskel and Ebert that mysteriously “vanished” and were never shown on television. Here, in Part Two, I’ll share with you eight of their more controversial reviews. Reviews that some postulate the reason why they were “lost” and never seen by the public. I’ll see you at the movies! The Little Mermaid Hello. I’m Gene Siskel from the Chicago Tribune, along with Roger Ebert from the Chicago Sun-Times, and you’re “At the Movies with Siskel and Ebert.” Today, we’re…