“I don’t know’ isn’t an acceptable answer, but neither is quoting the wisdom of Gwyneth Paltrow.” Back when dinosaurs still roamed the earth, parents used to take time out of their busy schedules to sit down and answer their kids’ questions about life instead of telling them to go ask Alexa. It was a fairytale time when people actually cared about each other and weren’t glued to Netflix, Hulu, or their iPhones. It was a time when a kid felt comfortable approaching his dad and asking, “Where do babies come from?” To which Dad would reply, “Go ask your mother.” These nuggets of guidance usually took the form of axions…
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Tick-Tock Against the Tech Clock Elders revolt against AI, Snapchat and ChatGPT
Let me tell you a tale. A tale of two worlds. One old and wise. The other, youthful and foolish. Now, you youngins might think you have it all figured out with your fancy gadgets and Bluetooth gizmos, but let me assure you, we adults have our reasons for being wary of this ever-changing flim-flam. This so-called new technological landscape. From the time you kids were in pre-school, you were always bothering us adults with “important” things like: “I can’t believe you used the wrong meme in our family group chat!” “You shared an embarrassing filtered selfie of me on TikTok! “All my friends have robotic pets with voice recognition,…
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Rule-A-Palooza A young boy offers alternatives to the age-old golden rules
Ah, parenting. The never-ending roller coaster of joy, chaos, and the occasional urge to hide in the bathroom for five days. It’s a wild ride filled with sticky fingers, endless questions, and the delicate art of mediation with tiny humans who possess the negotiation skills of a cagey divorce lawyer. It’s like trying to persuade a tornado to slow down and follow a meticulously planned path. Children have the uncanny ability to challenge the status quo and question the rules we hold dear. They’re masters of testing boundaries and seeking their own path. As they grow, their individuality and unique personalities emerge, sometimes leading them to question the very principles…
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Eulogy for Stanko Mourning the loss of a man who left behind an indelible mark on our lives like the stains on his favorite armchair
We gather here today to mourn the loss of a man who has left an indelible mark on our lives, much like the stains he left on his favorite armchair. A man whose very name brings forth a cacophony of emotions — Stanko Fartski. As we stand here in this beautiful chapel, I can’t help but think that Stanko would have absolutely hated it. He was never one for fancy surroundings or anything remotely resembling good taste. In fact, I’m sure he would have preferred us to hold this service in Gutter Greta’s Grub & Grog where he spent most of his waking hours. Now, I know that many of you are…
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Vaulting into the Cosmos Science's Greatest Minds Unravel the Secrets of Successful Pole Vaulting
Welcome to the latest edition of the Schrödinger’s Campus Chronicles, bringing you the most enlightening and perplexing news from our very own Royal Academy of Endurance and Agility. In our quest to unravel the mysteries of campus life, we have stumbled upon a challenge that has left even our most athletic students utterly bamboozled – the enigma of pole vaulting. You may ask, “But, what’s so complicated about launching oneself over a horizontal bar with the aid of a long, flexible pole?” Well, dear reader, it turns out that to conquer this seemingly straightforward feat, one must delve into the depths of physics, biology, and linguistics, seeking wisdom from some…