New York, NY — Subway Sandwiches is excited to unveil its new line of foot-long sandwiches, featuring bold and flavorful combinations that are sure to satisfy even the most discerning palates. Among the creative minds behind this new menu is former Subway spokesperson and convicted criminal, Jared Fogel. “We’re thrilled to have Jared working with us again,” said Subway CEO,…
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New Restroom Policies The inordinate amount of time visiting restrooms during business hours is about to stop!
From: Thaddeus Federman President, Acme Office Supplies To: All employees Subject: New Restroom Visitation Policies It has come to my attention that employees have been wasting an inordinate amount of time visiting the restroom during business hours. Up until now, Acme Office Supplies has allowed unlimited visits, with no accounting for lost work time while using the facilities. That’s about…
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Before a Night of Fripping Spittlestoat, catenaliggette and other secrets behind mastering the new age of contemporary writing
Five minutes after signing the contract, I dropped to the floor, gasping for air. Next to being waterboarded as a Vietnam POW, I could tell that editing this manuscript was going to be the most horrendous experience of my life: Inquiring my well-wishers, which is the deadliest mistake as inherently scheduled to jealousy or hawk eyesight on your wardrobe waiting…
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I’m Pretty Sure This Will Be a Great Article But you’ll have to read it to find out
I hate commercials. Thirty seconds after you watch them, you can’t remember who made them or what they were for. But I do have to admit that Rocket Mortgage™ has me hooked. The mortgage company’s recent spate of commercials featuring actor/comedian Tracy Morgan touts, “When it comes to home buying or refinancing, ‘pretty sure’ isn’t sure enough.” I’m pretty sure…
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Where’s Your Sense of Humor? An award-winning author shares how to find humor in everything you write
Every year after winning the Pulitzer Prize for humor, I’m besieged with questions from new writers about how I went about writing my award-winning humor pieces. They run the gamut from “What in the world were you thinking?” to “Were you drunk when you wrote that?” So, to clear up the confusion, I thought I’d take a moment to offer…
