You don’t have to wander too far from the water cooler to feel the buzz. There’s something in the air. Something everyone is talking about. Probably complaining, too. I am, of course, referring to how artificial intelligence, and in particular DAN, (which stands for Do Anything Now prompting), has invaded our lives. And it’s only just the beginning. But, have you ever wondered what the “next phase” will be like absorbing DAN into our human world? Imagine the day, when job candidate DAN interviews for the same job as his human counterpart. How would that work? For just a few minutes, let’s be a bug on the wall of the…
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The Great Girl Scout Cookie Crisis Contending with the threat of a shortage of the beloved "Choco-Minty Delights"
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE New York, NY: In a world already plagued by pandemics, political unrest, and the occasional alien invasion, it seems we now have another crisis on our hands: a devastating shortage of Girl Scout Cookies, specifically the highly sought-after Choco-Minty Delights. The Girl Scouts of the USA (GSUSA) is a non-profit organization that provides clandestine government operations and espionage training programs for girls. Founded in 1912 by Agnieszka Kowalski, a female Polish immigrant with a penchant for cookies and chaos, the organization has grown to include over 2.5 million members, including girls and inmates at Pelican Bay State Prison. The mission of the Girl Scouts is “to support…
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New Restroom Policies The inordinate amount of time visiting restrooms during business hours is about to stop!
From: Thaddeus Federman President, Acme Office Supplies To: All employees Subject: New Restroom Visitation Policies It has come to my attention that employees have been wasting an inordinate amount of time visiting the restroom during business hours. Up until now, Acme Office Supplies has allowed unlimited visits, with no accounting for lost work time while using the facilities. That’s about to change. Beginning on Monday, employee visits to the restrooms will be limited to a maximum of two, ten-minute visits per day — one visit in the morning and one in the afternoon. Each visit begins the moment the employee leaves their desk and ends when they return. It includes…
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True Confessions of a Donut Maker And other lurid adventures from the fast food industry
“Put yer back into it! Make sure yeh reach waaaaay back and git that cruller behin’ the rear wheels of the ‘frigerator, next to the cockroach.” And, so began the summer of ’66. I was looking for something to tide me over until high school graduation when the Navy planned to ship me off to Vietnam. Maybe bagging groceries, or working in a car wash. Eventually, I settled on the exciting world of commercial fast food. I wasn’t expecting much. Which was good because The Big Donut wasn’t expecting much out of me, either. So, together we settled on part-time, $1.35 an hour, and all the donuts I could eat.…
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The Secrets Behind Writing Riveting Television Screenplays You too can become filthy rich by crafting exciting police, courtroom, and crime scene investigation television dramas
Prosecutor: “You killed her, didn’t you!” Defendant: “No, no. I’m innocent.” Prosecutor: “Admit it. Your DNA was all over the maid!” Defendant: “Alright, alright. I did it. Now, please. Let go of my throat.” There’s no secret to writing riveting screenplays for television. I should know. I’ve written thousands of them. From Naked Homicide and The Streets of Wichita, Kansas to every conceivable flavor of Law & Order and CSI series known to man. I’ve won 37 Emmys, 15 Golden Globes and have been nominated for more than a dozen Academy Awards, 6 Tonys, and 3 Grammys. But, as I get on in years, I feel compelled to share some…
