I’m hopelessly addicted to drugs. You name a pill, syrup, lotion, cream, antacid, vitamin, tranquilizer, hormone, douche or suppository and I’ve not only taken it, but I’ve abused it. Largely because I have an addiction. Anything worth taking is worth taking a lot. In all fairness, I can’t take the blame for my wayward behavior. It began the day I…
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Betty Crocker Means Good Nutrition What to do when you're too young, inept and lazy to feed yourself
As a rambunctious kid growing up in southern California, I was lucky enough to live at home under the loving dictatorship of two middle-income parents. In exchange for a few menial tasks like mowing the lawn, pulling weeds and cleaning out the septic tank, my parents gave me a comfortable place to live, a weekly allowance and sound nutrition through…
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A Hairdresser’s Lament Things I learned (but will never repeat) in beauty school
While wrapping up the 1972 ski season, I met a male hairdresser who seemed to have everything I wanted: nice clothes, a new Porsche and lots of women. Wads of cash, thick hair on his chest, and lots of women. Socks with no holes, gleaming teeth and lots of women. But, what particularly impressed me was that he could afford…
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Zap Them Trout This just in... how to catch trout without a fly rod
One of my favorite ways to relax is to load up my sport utility vehicle with fishing poles, reels and tackle boxes filled with thousands of dollars of lures, lead weights, stinky bait, squirming worms, extra rolls of line and nets, storage creels and ice chests for a little bit of trout fishing. The problem is I never seem to…
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Reincarnation Gone South Everything you learned about life after death is all wrong
For the life of me, I can’t figure out how I got here. A month ago, I was contently adjusting to my short stay in Purgatory, waiting for the bus to Heaven. Then, out of the blue – poof – I find myself standing in the middle of Mandelbaum’s Commercial Poultry Farm in Bakersfield, California, faced with reincarnation. Both are…
