Dr. Levenfish was baffled. There was nothing more western medicine could do to pull me out of the depths of my depression. Feeling like my life had totally unraveled, I began entertaining thoughts of non-traditional methods of suicide like handcuffing myself to my mother-in-law. But I never had the courage to follow through with it… at least until I discovered Feng Shui. “Well, since you’ve made the decision to live,” said Dr. Levenfish, “I guess we should start looking at alternative solutions. Have you ever thought about trying Chinese medicine? Maybe something that might correct your maligned Chakras?” I gasped. Up until now, I didn’t even know I had Chakras,…
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For Better or for Worse The amazing story of Roland Nigland--the first man to marry himself
Boston, Mass. – In a landmark case for matrimonial rights, a Boston man married himself today in a private service. Roland Nigland, 31, stood before a municipal judge and a small gathering of close friends to profess his love to himself in what is believed to be the first same-person marriage on record. “From the moment that I saw my reflection in the mirror,” said Nigland, “I fell in love with myself.” Nigland confessed that the first time that he started to experience strong feelings for himself was in the third grade. “I snuck into my room the other morning and pressed my nose into a hamper of my dirty…
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Can Stress Cause Me to Gain Weight? How much you eat may not be the only reason you're gaining weight
Cave women had it easy. Except for the occasional attack by a saber-tooth tiger, the only stress in their lives was foraging enough food to feed their families and keeping the dirt floor clean. How did we get so stressed? Fast forward to modern times, we’re deluged with stressors that begin the moment we wake: checking our email, getting the kids out the door in time for school, checking Facebook, struggling with deadlines at work, checking Twitter and having dinner ready for the last-minute guests your husband has decided to bring home. While stress may have saved your life as a cave dweller, these days it can lead to serious,…
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Are We Losing Our Kids to Social Media? Smartphones have made it infinitely easier (and harder) to live in our world
When Steve Jobs introduced the iPhone on June 29, 2007, he couldn’t have anticipated the tidal wave he was about to unleash on the world. To be sure, Jobs was a technological visionary. He recognized the potential power of combining into one device, an internet-connected cell phone with a mini-computer capable of hosting email, playing music, surfing the web and a crude digital camera that meant people could share selfies the instant they heard the shutter click. Perfect for the generation of instant gratification. Jobs would have been hard-pressed to anticipate the raw power of something as compact as the smartphone and its long-term impact on society and human behavior.…
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I’ll Show You How It’s Done Once you hit 84, maybe there are certain things you should leave alone.
It’s been more than ten years since I lost my mom. Frankly, I’m glad she’s gone. Now, before you accuse me of being a shallow, selfless, ingrate, let me explain. I loved my mom. I really did. But technology made the decade beginning in 2008 brutal for old people. First there were self-driving cars. Then came the Amazon Kindle, followed by the Mars rover and the Hadron Collider. Even I felt overwhelmed. No sooner did my mom learn how to retrieve re-runs of Bonanza using her TV remote, someone went and moved all the controls to her cell phone. Her cell phone! “Let me get this straight,” she said. “I’m…
