The “Fruitcake Lady” was Marie Rudisill, an American author and television personality known for her candid, humorous, and often salty advice. She gained fame in the early 2000s through her appearances on “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” during a segment called “Ask the Fruitcake Lady.” She became a viral sensation thanks to her quick wit, straightforward demeanor, and unfiltered advice. Her segments covered a range of topics, from relationships to etiquette, with a biting humor that audiences adored. We’re honored to present some of them here. How do you handle a husband who snores like a freight train? Well, let me tell ya somethin’, dealin’ with a husband who snores…
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The Bottle: Benefits or Boozy Balderdash? Opinions split over the drink, dividing friends and igniting family reunions
January 27, 2025 By Ethelbert Clagget The Daily Hogwash Pickle Flats, Nebraska In a poll that could shake the bottoms of bars across the Midwest, an explosive new survey suggests that alcohol’s benefits and risks are duking it out like two drunks arguing over the last basket of wings at a dive bar. Experts are both thrilled and horrified, though most respondents just shrugged and opened another beer. Dr. Archibald Tuttlebeam, a so-called expert in Liquid Sociology at the highly dubious Poughkeepsie Institute of Fluid Studies, exclaimed, “It’s clear as moonshine—alcohol is a cornerstone of human civilization! Without it, we’d still be huddled in caves, gnawing on raw turnips. Sure,…
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When the Sky’s the Limit Top Gun training goes public, leaving experts and teens dizzy
January 25, 2025 By: Dobrivoje Cvetković The Nebojša’s Courier, Kruševac, Serbia In a move that has raised eyebrows higher than a supersonic jet on takeoff, the Department of the Navy has opened its elite Top Gun Flight Training Program to civilians. Among the program’s first participants is 16-year-old Trevor Bicklesworth III, a Beverly Hills High School senior who, just weeks after earning his learner’s permit, received the ultimate graduation gift: a weekend of combat training in an F-14 Tomcat. “Gee willikers!” Trevor exclaimed while adjusting his new Ray-Bans during an exclusive interview. “First, I got my learner’s permit, and now I get to fly an F-14 Tomcat. How cool is…
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How Many Gen Zs Does It Take to Change a Lightbulb? What’s a Lightbulb?
January 24, 2025 By Ludmila Gavranović The Đurđevac Herald Đurđevac, Croatia A recent poll conducted by the highly respected Institute for Generalized Panic and Widespread Disappointment (IGPWD) has revealed that nearly 90% of Gen Z participants are utterly befuddled by the concept of how to change a lightbulb. Once an assumed skill passed down through generations like sourdough starters or the irrational fear of quicksand, the art of lightbulb replacement now teeters on the edge of extinction. “It’s just so…round,” mused Zolton “Ziggy” Borkovic, a Senior Research Analyst at the University of Appliance Awareness in Bratislava. “One cannot simply expect these kids to interface with ancient technology when their entire…
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Plumbing Fixtures and Bowel Movements Strange phenomenon as shoppers experience uncontrollable urges in hardware stores
January 22, 2025 By Bogdan Slodovich The Snipec Almanac Snipec, Serbia In a revelation shaking the very porcelain foundations of retail anthropology, a baffling trend has emerged: customers experiencing sudden and urgent calls of nature while shopping for bathroom fixtures in hardware stores. This groundbreaking and wildly confusing report has left experts scratching their heads, or possibly other areas, depending on their theories. Dr. Aloysius Blonk from the University of Dubious Sciences in Bratislava posited, “It’s a condition we call Retail-Induced Gastrointestinal Synchronicity Syndrome (RIGSS). The moment a shopper gazes upon a glistening commode, their intestinal neurons harmonize with the plumbing’s metaphorical ‘flush.’ I believe this is a primal survival…
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