How do you feel about the “new” artificial intelligence tools used for generating original content? Are you excited? Scared to death? Don’t give a hoot? Well, as someone who’s written professionally for nearly twenty years, I was curious to find out what all the hoopla was. Can tools like ChatGPT really save you time? Can it draft quality content without sounding like a robot? Am I going to be out of a job? I had to see for myself. To put AI to the test, I asked ChatGPT to approach a sensitive subject every father dreads: explaining the birds and the bees to his boy. First, I asked the chatbot to explain…
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Kindergarten: An Adventure Like No Other A preschool valedictorian addresses the challenges of disillusion, failure and broccoli
Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed faculty, proud parents, and my fellow kindergarten graduates. Today is a day of celebration, a day of joy, and a day of reflection. As I stand before you here at The Snickerdoodle Scholars’ Sanctuary, I can’t help but think back to the great times we’ve had at this school. From the moment we first stepped foot into the magical land of finger painting and nap time, we knew we were destined for greatness. We made friends that have lasted a lifetime. Like little Timmy, who taught us the art of Super Gluing our hands together, and Sarah, who showed us the true meaning of sharing when she…
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From the Depths of Disgrace Jared Fogle Emerges from the Depths of Disgrace to Unleash a Tantalizing Array of Foot-Long Sandwiches at Subway
New York, NY — Subway Sandwiches is excited to unveil its new line of foot-long sandwiches, featuring bold and flavorful combinations that are sure to satisfy even the most discerning palates. Among the creative minds behind this new menu is former Subway spokesperson and convicted criminal, Jared Fogel. “We’re thrilled to have Jared working with us again,” said Subway CEO, John Chidsey. “He has a real talent for creating unique and exciting sandwiches that our customers love, and we know this new menu will be a huge hit.” The new menu features ten tantalizing sandwich options, including: The Jailbird Jamboree — Packed with turkey, avocado, and a hint of remorse.…
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New Restroom Policies The inordinate amount of time visiting restrooms during business hours is about to stop!
From: Thaddeus Federman, CEO, Acme Office Supplies To: All employees Subject: New Restroom Visitation Policies It has come to our attention that employees have been wasting an inordinate amount of time visiting the restroom during business hours. Up until now, Acme Office Supplies has allowed unlimited visits, with no accounting for lost work time while using the facilities. That’s about to change. Beginning on Monday, visits to the restrooms will be limited to a maximum of two, ten-minute visits per visit per employee — one visit in the morning and one in the afternoon. Each visit begins the moment the employee leaves their desk and ends when they return. It…
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True Confessions of a Donut Maker And other lurid adventures from the fast food industry
“Put yer back into it! Make sure yeh reach waaaaay back and git that cruller behin’ the rear wheels of the ‘frigerator, next to the cockroach.” And, so began the summer of ’66. I was looking for something to tide me over until high school graduation when the Navy planned to ship me off to Vietnam. Maybe bagging groceries, or working in a car wash. Eventually, I settled on the exciting world of commercial fast food. I wasn’t expecting much. Which was good because The Big Donut wasn’t expecting much out of me, either. So, together we settled on part-time, $1.35 an hour, and all the donuts I could eat.…
