Original Premise: Titanic (1997) – “I’ll Never Let Go” As Jack slowly sinks into the freezing Atlantic, Rose clings to him before finally letting go, leaving audiences devastated and debating whether or not there was room on that door. Opening Scene A vast, icy expanse. The remains of the HMS Titanic bob in the water as Jack clings to the edge of a massive wooden door, his lips bluer than a New York cab driver’s language. Rose lies comfortably atop the door, drier than a sandwich. The orchestra continues floating nearby, still playing, their instruments now replaced with various species of fish. Jack: Rose, I… I don’t think I’m gonna…
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Alien Chestburster Chaos In space no one can hear you scream laugh fart or sneeze
Original Premise: Alien (1979) – The Chestburster Scene A quiet meal among the crew turns into pure horror as an alien creature violently erupts from Kane’s chest. The shock, the gore, and the sheer terror made this an all-time great. Opening Scene A dimly lit mess hall aboard the spaceship Nostromo. The crew sits around a steel table, eating a meal that looks suspiciously like 1978 high school cafeteria food. Kane chews with great enthusiasm, despite everyone else eying his food suspiciously. Dallas: So, Kane, how’s the stomach? Feeling better? Kane: Oh yeah, much better. You know, just your standard violent space illness followed by sudden and complete recovery. Classic…
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The Gladiator’s Half-Time Show When in Rome make ‘em laugh or get fed to the lions
Original Premise: Gladiator (2000) – “Are You Not Entertained?” Fresh from brutally dispatching his opponents in the Colosseum, Maximus taunts the stunned Roman audience, demanding acknowledgment of his violent spectacle. Opening Scene The Colosseum, a massive stone arena, echoes with cheers, gasps, and one guy selling hardboiled grapes. The sun glares down on the sand-covered battlefield where Maximus, clad in battered armor, wearing a pair of Gucci Square Sunglasses, stands over several very dead guys. Blood drips from his sword, but his hair remains perfectly coiffed. The crowd is silent, staring at him with mild confusion. Maximus: Are you not entertained?! Silence. Maximus: C’mon now. Are you not entertained? A…
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Cool Hand Luke’s Eggcellent Adventure One man one hour fifty ostrich eggs zero regrets
Original Premise: Cool Hand Luke (1967) – “50 Eggs Challenge” As Luke attempts to eat 50 hard-boiled eggs in an hour, his fellow inmates cheer and place bets. His stubborn defiance turns into a symbolic, almost Christ-like display of endurance and futility. Opening Scene Inside a decrepit, run-down prison barracks. A circle of sweaty, dust-covered inmates surrounds a single reinforced wooden table—because a normal table wouldn’t survive this. At the center, Luke sits staring down at a mountain of giant hard-boiled ostrich eggs so massive it threatens local zip code. The air is thick with tension, the smell of failure, and questionable decision-making. On a makeshift chalkboard, bets are being…
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A Stroll Down Memory Lane Raymond Babbitt’s Nursery Rhyme Analyses
Nursery rhymes. We grew up with them—simple, sing-song verses that tucked us into bed, danced through playgrounds, and echoed in the background of childhood. They were whimsical. They were catchy. But were they… logical? Not really. For most of us, nursery rhymes were innocent, rhythmic nonsense—until now. Enter Raymond “Ray” Babbitt, the methodical, numbers-obsessed savant from the film Rain Man, here to deconstruct these childhood classics with his signature blend of precision, routine, and keen observation. In his world, rules are rules, structure is non-negotiable, and things should make sense. Except, well, they don’t. Raymond’s objective analysis of each rhyme exposes the absurdity lurking beneath the surface. Why was Mary’s…
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