It’s been less than 48 hours since I first heard the results of the presidential election. But I have to be honest. It wasn’t a complete surprise. Ever since Mango Mussolini announced his intention to run for president, I’ve asked myself, “What would I do if the Bronze Baboon actually wins?” Preparing for the worst, I entertained dozens of ways…
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A Pageant of Perfectly Imperfect Answers Like, World Peace, You Know?
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the dazzling spectacle that is the Glitz & Goodwill Beauty Pageant! Tonight, we bring to you the glamour, talent, and elegance of the most beautiful and accomplished women from around the world. After weeks of incredible displays of poise, charisma, and heartfelt passion, 28 contestants representing their respective countries have vied for…
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How to Ace Your Deadwood Interview with Confidence Confidence That Commands Attention
Hiring Manager (Miss Wellington-Coburn): Thank you for coming in to interview for the Solutions Specialist opening, Mr. Swearengen. My name is Miss Araminta Anastasia Constance Genevieve Ludovica Wellington-Coburn. I’m the hiring manager here at Deadwood Enterprises. Let me peel the onion and give you the lay of the land before we jump into the deep dive. We’ve got an open…
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Meals from Messes Where Culinary Catastrophes Meet Gastronomic Madness
Welcome to the art and science of Meals from Messes – Where Culinary Catastrophes Meet Gastronomic Madness. In this sacred realm of spoiled produce and the mysteries of unlabeled jars, true creativity is born. When your fridge resembles more of a crime scene than a kitchen, you don’t need a shopping list, you need sheer willpower and Artificial Intelligence. Using…
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Thank You for Flying Titanic Airlines Taking Air Travel to Uncharted Waters
“Ladies and gentlemen, good evening, and welcome aboard Titanic Airlines, flight 1243, with non-stop service to Antarctica’s Dry Valleys and the Kamchatka Peninsula. We’re thrilled to have you with us today! My name is Isabella Fiammetta Castiglione, but you can call me Izzy, and I’ll be your Senior Flight Attendant alongside my amazing crew members, Leilani Nahir Kalākaua, Aksel Torvaldson…