Original Premise: Thelma & Louise (1991) – The Cliff Jump
With law enforcement closing in, Thelma and Louise choose freedom on their own terms, holding hands as they drive off a cliff in an unforgettable feminist finale.
Opening Scene
Thelma and Louise’s vintage Thunderbird screeches up to the edge of the Grand Canyon in reverse. Dust swirls dramatically, though the sign that reads, “Caution: Sudden and Unexpected Cliff,” suggests this was predictable.
Behind them, a dozen police cars skid into formation, lights flashing. A megaphone crackles.
Police Chief: Ladies, exit the vehicle! You are surrounded!
Louise grips the wheel, craning her neck around to check out the horizon. Thelma adjusts the rearview mirror, which is currently showing a very distressed coyote holding up a sign that reads, “Unemployed. Will work for small mammals, plants, insects, and occasionally human-related food sources.”
Thelma: What do you think, Louise?
Louise: I think we should’ve sprung for a GPS.
Thelma: Yeah Toto, this doesn’t feel like Kansas, anymore.
A helicopter swoops down. The pilot, wearing aviator glasses and a deep frown, adjusts his headset.
Helicopter Pilot: We’ve got them cornered. No way out.
Co-Pilot: Unless they drive off the cliff.
Helicopter Pilot: Are you kidding? Even my mother-in-law wouldn’t be crazy enough to do that.
Inside the Thunderbird, Thelma and Louise exchange a knowing glance. Thelma pulls down the sun visor. A fortune cookie slip falls into her lap. It reads, “Today is a great day to try something new.”
Louise slams the gear shift into reverse.
Thelma: You know how to land this thing?
Louise: Of course I do. I just don’t know how to fly it.
She floors the gas. The Thunderbird rockets backward.
Mid-Air
As the car soars over the canyon, time slows. The wind ripples through their hair. The radio, inexplicably, plays “Free Fallin’.” Meanwhile, a tour guide on the rim of the canyon points them out to his group.
Tour Guide: And here we see two majestic creatures in their natural habitat.
His entire tour group nods in approval while snapping selfies.
Inside the car, Thelma flips open the glove compartment. A parachute, a life raft, and a button labeled, “Break in Case of Sudden Freefall” tumble out.
Thelma: Should we push this?
Louise: No, let’s see where this goes.
The Landing
The Thunderbird crashes trunk-first into a moving truck labeled, “Soft Pillows & Marshmallow Deliveries.”
The car bounces off, rolls three times, and lands upright. A small puff of dust rises from the tires. Thelma and Louise blink at each other.
Thelma: Well, that was unexpected.
A police officer sprints toward them, panting.
Police Officer: You two…just…drove backward off a cliff!
Louise: And?
Police Officer: And absolutely stuck the landing!
The surrounding officers break into applause. A NCAA judge materializes from the crowd, holding up a sign: “10/10.”
Thelma and Louise high-five. The police chief approaches.
Police Chief: Over the past 30 years I’ve seen a lot of women driving pale blue 1966 Ford Thunderbird convertibles with vinyl seats, chrome and woodgrain trim accents, backwards off of cliffs, but that? That was art. Y’all stay safe and have a nice trip!
Denouement and Closing Scene
A second tour bus arrives. The passengers snap photos. The Thunderbird’s engine sputters. Thelma and Louise climb out, dust themselves off, and then drive into the sunset. A sign behind them reads, “You Made It! Next Stop: A New Future.”
Next up: Say Hello to My Little Meatball
