Original Premise: Jaws (1975) – Quint’s USS Indianapolis Monologue
Robert Shaw’s grizzled fisherman recounts the horrifying true story of the Indianapolis crew being picked off by sharks, a chilling moment of pure storytelling mastery.
Opening Scene
A dimly lit cabin aboard the Orca. The wooden interior creaks under the weight of questionable carpentry and even more questionable decision-making. A lantern flickers ominously, casting shadows that seem to exacerbate already exaggerated fish tales. The table is cluttered with empty beer bottles, a half-eaten sandwich, and a glass-encased harpoon labeled “In Case of Shark Attack Break Glass.”
Quint leans forward, the lines on his face deeper than an overdue bar tab. Brody and Hooper sit across from him, staring, waiting. A framed newspaper on the wall reads: “Local Man Claims Shark Owes Him Money.”
Quint: You ever hear about The Love Boat?
Hooper: The ship that sank?
Quint: No, the dance troupe. Of course, the ship that sank!
Brody: I thought that was the Titanic.
Quint: No, that one had a violin section. We had sharks.
Quint takes a swig from a bottle labeled “Quint’s Mystery Brew – Side Effects May Include Vision Loss and Overconfidence.” He sets it down with a thud.
Quint: So, there we were. Middle of the ocean. No radio, no distress signal. Just us, the waves, and about a thousand sharks all looking at us like we were an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Hooper: Sounds… uncomfortable.
Quint: You ever been stuck in the middle of the ocean with nothing but your wits and a floating door?
Brody: Didn’t work for Jack Dawson.
Quint: Well, Jack had an attitude problem.
Quint shifts in his chair, the wood creaking under the weight of foreshadowing.
Quint: First night, the sharks come in. Silent. Like tax collectors. Just eyes and teeth. You hear the water ripple, then boom—some poor guy gets an express ticket to the afterlife. No refund, no receipt.
Hooper: That’s horrifying.
Quint: Second night, we start naming them. Big Steve, Little Steve, Steve Jr. There were a lot of Steves.
Brody: Did that make it less scary?
Quint: No, but it made it harder to take things personally.
Quint leans in, his voice dropping lower.
Quint: Then there was Carl. Carl was the worst.
Hooper: What did Carl do?
Quint: Took my lunch.
A long beat of silence. The lantern flickers.
Brody: Your… lunch?
Quint: A man’s got priorities, Chief. I’ve fought sharks, hunger, and dehydration, but Carl took my last peanut butter sandwich. Do you know what it’s like to be hunted and hangry at the same time?
Hooper shifts uncomfortably. Brody rubs his temples.
Quint: Third day, the rescue boats show up. Just as I’m about to exact my revenge on Carl, they pull me out of the water. I never got closure.
Hooper: You’re saying a shark ate your peanut butter sandwich, so now you hold a lifelong grudge?
Quint: I had to eat seaweed for three days. Three days! Do you know what that does to a man?
Hooper opens his mouth, then closes it.
Brody: And now you hunt sharks for a living?
Quint: I don’t hunt sharks, Chief. I’m just looking for Carl.
A sudden crash outside. The boat lurches violently. The men grab onto whatever isn’t nailed down—which is very little. The table slides to the left, revealing a plaque underneath it: “In Case of Shark Attack Call 1-800-OH-GOD-NO.”
The lantern flickers wildly as the silhouette of a massive fin looms outside the cabin window. Quint narrows his eyes, gripping the harpoon.
Quint: Carl!
Denouement and Closing Scene
The ship rocks violently. Water sprays over the deck. The lantern swings back and forth like a pendulum of doom.
The camera zooms in on the harpoon behind glass, now labeled “Reserved for Carl.”
Quint, Brody, and Hooper charge to the deck. The shark lunges. A ridiculous battle ensues: Quint swings from a rope like a pirate, Hooper throws chum directly at Brody by mistake, and a conveniently placed “Beware of Sharks” sign falls into the ocean with a splash.
Carl roars (which is not easy to do underwater).
The boat tilts. The harpoon flies. A dramatic pause. A triumphant strike—except it misses Carl entirely and instead pops a nearby lifeboat.
Hooper: Well, that’s unfortunate.
Quint: Carl’s fast. Too fast.
The men brace as the shark circles, eyeing them with a look that can only be described as “grudge-holding satisfaction.”
A siren blares in the distance. A helicopter hovers above.
Loudspeaker: This is the coast guard! We’re here to—oh wow, is that Carl?
Carl waves at them with his tail. The rest is history.
Screen Fades to Black
Next up: Wiseguys and Dumb Goodfellas
