Original Premise: The Godfather (1972) – The Horse Head in the Bed
Waking up to find your prized horse’s severed head beside you? Yeah, that’ll make an impression. A scene so shocking it became cinematic folklore.
Opening Scene
The Bedroom – Early Morning
A palatial bedroom, draped in luxury. Sunlight filters through ornate curtains. A glass of water sits on the nightstand, next to a self-help book titled “Negotiation for Dummies: How to Avoid Horse-Related Incidents with the Mafia.”
Jack Woltz, a Hollywood producer, sleeps soundly, unaware of the grotesque surprise awaiting him. The camera pans down the lavish bed to reveal his prized horse’s head under the silk sheets. But there’s something off. The horse’s eyes are wide open, as if startled mid-sentence. A visible name tag hangs from its ear: “Hello, my name is Sprinkles.”
Outside, two bumbling hitmen—Tony and Vinny—peer through the window, whispering urgently.
Tony: We did it. Clean job. No loose ends.
Vinny: You sure? ‘Cause last time you said that, you left Jimmy the Fish alive.
Tony: Jimmy the Fish was a fish.
Vinny: And look what happened—now the Don’s got a seafood allergy.
Cut back to Woltz, stirring awake. He stretches, yawns, and lazily reaches for the blankets. His hand brushes against something furry. He frowns. Feels again. His eyes pop open.
Woltz: That better not be you again, Sheila.
He flips back the covers, revealing the horse’s head. A scream builds in his throat, but before he can let it out—
Horse head (offscreen, calm, soothing): Morning, Jack. Sleep well?
Woltz bolts upright. The horse’s mouth is moving. Its lips lazily flap as if delivering dialogue in an overdubbed foreign film.
Horse head: You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Or a decapitated thoroughbred.
Woltz: (stammering) Y-you’re supposed to be—
Horse head: Yeah, I know. “Dead.” Blah blah blah. Look, we both got problems, Jack. You wake up next to a severed head, I wake up without a body. Frankly, I think I got the worse end of the deal.
Woltz hyperventilates, reaching for the phone. He dials frantically.
Operator: If you’d like to make a call, please hang up, find the rest of your horse, and try again.
Woltz drops the phone in horror.
Tony (to Vinny, still watching): You hear that? He’s speechless. That’s a good sign.
Vinny: For once in my life, I’m speechless.
Woltz scrambles out of bed, dragging the sheets with him, the horse head bouncing along the carpet like a gruesome stuffed animal. He knocks over the water glass. The self-help book falls open to the chapter: “Dealing with Shocking News: Don’t Lose Your Head.”
His bedroom door swings open. A maid enters, holding a feather duster. She sees the head, drops the duster, and gasps.
Maid: Señor Woltz… you ordered room service?
Woltz: Does this look like room service to you?
The maid shrugs, whips out a notepad, and jots something down.
Maid: Extra pillows, fewer severed heads.
Behind her, the butler walks in, holding a breakfast tray. He barely glances at the horse head as he sets the tray down.
Butler: Your eggs, sir. Sunny-side up. Unlike your horse.
Woltz stares, his mind breaking.
Woltz: What is this…?
Horse head: Your breakfast. But we don’t have time to go into that now.
Horse head: Technically, this is a warning. But if you think about it, it could also be a wake-up call. An alarm clock. A Sleep Extermination Device. An Unholy Screech Box. A REM Destroyer or an icebreaker at awkward brunches.
Woltz grabs the sheets, trying to fling the head away. It lands with a dull thud onto the breakfast tray. The butler sighs, picks up a fork, and starts eating.
Butler: Mmm. Compliments to the chef.
The bedroom door bursts open again. Two police officers rush in. One holds a notepad. The other wears aviator sunglasses indoors, for no apparent reason.
Officer 1: Mr. Woltz! We got a call about a disturbing noise complaint!
Officer 2: And possibly a breakfast-related crime!
They take in the scene—the horse head, the sheets covered in blood, the spilled water, the eggs. Sunny-side up.
Officer 1: Alright, we got a few questions. First—
Officer 2: Do you like movies about gladiators? Have you ever seen a grown man naked?
Woltz: (losing it) What??? What do you think?
Officer 2: I don’t know, that’s why we asked.
Officer 1: Sir, let’s stay calm. Do you have any enemies?
Woltz: (hysterical) Everyone!
Officer 2: That does complicate things a bit.
Officer 1: Do you know who might’ve done this?
Woltz: Isn’t it obvious? It’s the mob!
Officer 2: Ah, classic case. Usually, they just send parts of a horse head. This time they sent the whole thing, minus a body.
They scribble something down.
Officer 1: Alright, you’re free to go.
Woltz: Wait, what do you mean I’m free to go? This is my house. I live here!
Officer 2: Oh. Right. Well, then we’re free to go.
They both tip their hats and exit.
Denouement and Closing Scene
Woltz collapses onto the bed. The horse head rolls onto the pillow next to him.
Horse head: You know, Jack… maybe this is a sign. Maybe it’s time to take a step back. Reflect. Look at your life. Maybe buy a pony. Ease back in.
Woltz groans.
Horse head: Or at least get new sheets.
Fade to black.
Next up: Pulp Friction
