Original Premise: Raging Bull (1980) – Jake LaMotta’s “I Coulda Been a Contender”
Robert De Niro’s Jake LaMotta, bloated and broken, reciting I Coulda’ Been a Contender! to himself in the mirror, is a hauntingly tragic look at a fallen fighter.
Opening Scene
Jake LaMotta’s Dressing Room – The “I Coulda’ Been a Contender!” Monologue
Description
A dingy dressing room, dimly lit by a single, flickering bulb that looks like it gave up long before Jake did. A cracked mirror sits above the sink, reflecting a bloated, bathrobe-clad Jake LaMotta who looks like he lost a fight with an all-you-can-eat buffet. The robe reads “World Champion – 20 Pounds Ago.”
Outside, a neon sign flashes:
TONIGHT ONLY: 2-FOR-1 CALAMARI SPECIAL
ALSO JAKE LaMOTTA LIVE!
Jake squares up to the mirror, shadowboxing. His reflection dodges every punch effortlessly.
Jake LaMotta: You coulda’ been a contender’.
Mirror: No, you coulda’ been a contender. I’m just a mirror.
Jake LaMotta: Don’t get cute with me.
Mirror: Too late. I reflect everything you do. And let’s be honest—you ain’t lookin’ all that great lately.
Jake LaMotta: Oh, so now you’re an image expert?
Mirror: I see everything you do. Which means I’ve seen some stuff, Jake.
Jake LaMotta: (Squints) Like what?
Mirror: I saw you trying to eat spaghetti with boxing gloves on. It was humiliating.
Jake LaMotta: Yeah, that was a low point.
Mirror: You shadowboxed yourself for forty minutes and the shadow won.
Jake LaMotta: I was workin’ on my defense!
Mirror: You dodged your own punches. That’s not defense, that’s self-preservation.
Jake LaMotta: You got a lotta nerve talkin’ to me like this.
Mirror: That’s the problem. I’ve got your nerve.
Jake rubs his face, exhales, then straightens up.
Jake LaMotta: Look, I’m just tryin’ to do a thing here, alright? I’m tryin’ to get in the moment.
Mirror: Your moment left twenty years ago.
Jake LaMotta: You know what your problem is? You don’t respect me.
Mirror: Would you respect someone who spits on their own reflection?
Jake LaMotta: That was an accident.
Mirror: You did it twice.
Jake LaMotta: Only the second one was intentional!
Mirror: I know. I know. I saw.
Jake LaMotta: Oh, you’re a real wise guy, huh?
Mirror: I’m as smart as you. Which should be deeply concerning.
Jake glares at his reflection. The reflection glares back. They both jab a finger at each other simultaneously.
Jake LaMotta: (Pointing) You don’t know nothin’.
Mirror: (Pointing back) I know exactly what you know.
Jake LaMotta: Then you know you’re about to get your ass kicked.
Mirror: Am I? ‘Cause last time you tried, you missed. And you weren’t even moving.
Jake lunges forward and throws a punch. The mirror slides to the side. Jake bounces off the sink and stumbles back, holding his hand.
Mirror: Another flawless victory.
The door swings open. Joey, Jake’s brother, walks in, eyeing the scene.
Joey: (Deadpan) Are you losin’ an argument to that mirror again?
Jake LaMotta: I wouldn’t say losin’…
Mirror: (Smug) I would.
Joey: I gotta stop comin’ in here.
A knock at the door. A sweaty, anxious club manager, Sal, sticks his head in.
Sal: Jake, you’re up in five.
Jake LaMotta: Five what?
Sal: Five minutes.
Jake LaMotta: I don’t measure time in minutes. I measure it in rounds.
Sal: Fine. You’re up in one round.
Jake LaMotta: How many minutes in a round?
Sal: Three.
Jake LaMotta: So I got three minutes?
Sal: No, you got five.
Jake LaMotta: But you just said one round.
Sal: It’s a metaphor!
Jake LaMotta: I don’t fight metaphors. I fight people.
Sal: Then go fight the audience, ‘cause they’re gettin’ restless.
Joey: Yeah, the calamari special is gettin’ more attention than you right now.
Denouement and Closing Scene
Jake turns back to the mirror. They stare each other down.
Jake LaMotta: I’m tellin’ ya, I coulda’ been a contender.
Mirror: Jake, you weren’t even a good dishwasher.
Jake hurls another punch. This time the mirror shatters.
Joey: So… does that mean you won?
Jake LaMotta: (Panting) I dunno. But I think his glass is cut.
Next up: Gone with the Whiff
