Whether you live in a small town or a large city, where you ultimately plant your feet has a lot to say about who you are. Some people choose to live in places like Wetwang, England because they work there. Others have deep rooted family trees in Looneyville, Minnesota. And what high-powered executive wouldn’t jump at the chance to get transferred to Goosepimple Junction, Virginia? To help you decide where to make your next move, here are a few places you won’t want to miss investigating:
Intercourse, Pennsylvania – With its unusually suggestive name, it’s hard for most people to believe that Intercourse, PA is located in the heart of Amish country. In fact, it was the location of the blockbuster movie, “Witness” starring Harrison Ford. Prior to 1814, it was named Cross Keys because two major highways intersected at its location. In the early days of the village, the word intercourse was commonly used to mean fellowship or social interaction.
Wide Awake, Colorado – One night when a group of miners were sitting around a campfire, they were trying to come up with a good name for their new town. After passing a bottle around late into the night, someone finally said, “Let’s just turn in and talk about it more when we’re wide awake.” “That’s it!” shouted one of the miners. “Let’s call it Wide Awake!”
Peculiar, Missouri – Thirty miles south of Kansas City laid a small community needing a name. In the early days, the town never really needed one, so the town folk put off naming their community until getting their first post office required one. The postmaster wrote the United States Government asking for the name “Excelsior.” The name was already taken. He wrote for permission to use another and another until he was so exasperated that he told them, “We’ll take any name you have available as long as it’s peculiar.”
Toad Suck, Arkansas – Before the Army Corps of Engineers completed a highway bridge over the Arkansas River in 1973, the most reliable way to get from one side of the river to the other was by barge. Next to the river stood an old tavern where many of the bargemen would pull over to drink rum and moonshine. There, they would “suck on bottles until they swelled up like toads” – hence one version of how the town got its name.
Pee Pee Township, Ohio – Surprisingly, Pee Pee Township gets its name from nearby Pee Pee Creek (actually, it’s P.P. Creek) that took its name from an Irish Settler in 1798 and not because people urinate there. It is one of 14 townships in Pike County, Ohio and boasted more than 7,000 residents in the 2000 census.
Accident, Maryland – The town of Accident traces its history back to 1750 when a local resident named George Deakins accepted 600 acres from King George II of England in relief of a debt. George sent out two independent surveying parties to find the best 600 acres in the county – neither of which was aware of the other. By coincidence, they both surveyed the same plot, beginning at the same tree. Confident that no one else owned the property, Mr. Deakins named the tract the “Accident Tract” – on purpose.
Hell, Michigan – There are several theories as to how Hell, Michigan got its name. One theory suggests that two traveling Germans stepped out of a stagecoach and remarked, “So schön und hell!” which loosely translates to “So beautiful and bright!” Hearing this, the neighbors focused on the latter part of the statement. Another theory is that one of the early settlers named George Reeves (not the actor who played Superman) was asked what they should call the town. Always the eloquent gentleman, Reeves replied, “For all I care, you can name it Hell!”
Horneytown, North Carolina – Located in Forsythe County, just east of Winston-Salem, Horneytown gets its name from early pioneers. Not pioneers with rampant sex drives, but rather the Horney family who had established farming and a flourishing business community before the Civil War.
Saint–Louis-du-Ha! Ha!, Quebec – Saint-Louis-du-Ha! Ha! is a small parish located near the south shore of the Saint Lawrence River. Its name refers to nearby Lake Temiscouata and is one of the few towns in the world that legally contains exclamation points in its name. Ha Ha is an archaic French term for an unexpected obstacle or abruptly ending path.
Ding Dong, Texas – Despite evidence to the contrary, the town of Ding Dong, Texas was not named after Peter Hansborough Bell, the third Governor of Texas. Nor was it named for the Hostess snack cake or because it’s located in Bell County. Back in the 1930s, brothers Zulis and Bert Bell owned a country store and hired a creative sign painter named C.C. Hoover to put up a new sign. Hoover suggested that he dress up the sign by painting two bells on the sign with the words, “Ding Dong.” The surrounding community quickly took to the name.
Tightwad, Missouri – During the town’s early days, a local store owner cheated a customer (who just happened to be a postman) by charging him an extra 50 cents for a watermelon. To get back at the proprietor, the postman started delivering mail to the new town of Tightwad, Missouri.
Written for and excerpted from Armchair Reader The Gigantic Reader – West Side Publishing (September 7, 2009)
