If you’re one of those people who wake up in the morning complaining about “not feeling yourself” or are constantly hunting down new pimples and fighting back the hair in your ears, you could have bigger problems… Alien Hand Syndrome, for one. Here are six syndromes and disorders documented in the medical literature of unusual maladies that have made the…
-
-
Better Living through Drug Addiction It's easy getting through life... as long as you have pill, syrup, lotion, cream, antacid, vitamins, tranquilizers, hormones, and suppositories
I’m hopelessly addicted to drugs. You name a pill, syrup, lotion, cream, antacid, vitamin, tranquilizer, hormone, douche or suppository and I’ve not only taken it, but I’ve abused it. Largely because I have an addiction. Anything worth taking is worth taking a lot. In all fairness, I can’t take the blame for my wayward behavior. It began the day I…
-
The Doctor Wiww See You Now Problems with voice and diction? Elmer Fudd to the wescue
After spending a week in the ICU, the only residual effect keeping me from returning to work was a minor pronunciation impediment, so my neurologist recommended I start working with a speech pathologist. Fortunately, one of the country’s top specialists worked right down the street. Being in the entertainment industry, I’d heard of the doctor and the valuable work he…
-
The Vampire Will See You Now The art and science of phlebotomy
I can’t stand the sight of blood. I’m not too wild about vomit or feces, either, but I’ve managed to evade both by steering clear of retirement homes and small children. So, when it came time to train as a phlebotomist, I surprised everyone. Including myself. I’d always wanted to be a vampire. I was enrolled in a graduate program…
-
Become a Breast Surgeon – On-line! My twelve weeks on the road through medical school and more breasts than I'd ever seen!
As a terminated, over-the-hill computer operator I never dreamed that I’d have an opportunity so late in life to strut down the halls of a major medical center as a world renowned breast surgeon, barking out orders on my way to scrubbing up for a mastopexy. Up until now, all those years of drinking, bong smoking and my worthless junior…