“Ladies and gentlemen, good evening, and welcome aboard Titanic Airlines, flight 1243, with non-stop service to Antarctica’s Dry Valleys and the Kamchatka Peninsula. We’re thrilled to have you with us today! My name is Isabella Fiammetta Castiglione, but you can call me Izzy, and I’ll be your Senior Flight Attendant alongside my amazing crew members, Leilani Nahir Kalākaua, Aksel Torvaldson Björnsen, Marisol Celeste Orellana, and Mateo Caspian De la Cruz. We’re here to ensure you have a safe and pleasant journey, so please give us your full attention as we go over some important safety information. First, please take a moment to locate the nearest emergency exits near your seat.…
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Sticky Bomb Threat Foiled How the TSA thwarts bombs made from Diet Coke and Mentos mints
Los Angeles, California – American authorities announced yesterday that they had successfully thwarted an attempt by terrorists to detonate a sticky bomb made from a 1-liter bottle of Diet Coke and Mentos candy mints, preventing what could have been the messiest attack on U.S. air carriers in aviation history. The Transportation Security Administration first became aware of the threat after observing a number of men of Middle Eastern descent carrying cases of the popular drink onto six different planes. “At first, we were focused on what was in their carry-on luggage,” said Henry Wilkinson, TSA’s Chief of Domestic Terrorism. “We were looking for mainstream explosives like jelled nitroparafin, metal perchlorate…
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Overweight: One for the Price of Two Airlines are getting hammered with heavy loads... and they're fighting back
Dallas, Texas – Following the recent decision by Southwest Airlines to begin enforcing their 22-year-old policy requiring overweight passengers to purchase two airline seats, a number of other companies and consumer groups have demanded that customers of size begin coughing up premium rates for their products and services. Southwest Airlines led the charge with their policy to penalize large customers, dating back to the 1980’s. According to the policy, any passenger whose derriere spills over onto the adjacent seat is required to purchase two airline tickets at the price of the original seat. Roxanne Haberstrohm, spokesperson for Southwest says, “Ninety percent of the complaints we receive from our passengers stem…
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