It happened somewhere over the Rockies, midflight to Denver, when our 747 decided to impersonate a bucking bronco. Luggage compartments popped open like jack-in-the-boxes, a snack cart took a nosedive into first class, and my seatmate—a silver-foxed gentleman with a face like a wise walnut—was flailing for his armrest like it owed him money. “This is nothing,” he bellowed, barely…
-
-
In Defense Against Derrière Detonations Surviving Rectal Roars, Butt Barks and Crop Dusting on Commercial Airline Flights
Commercial air travel is an extraordinary feat of human achievement, bringing people and cultures together across vast distances. It can also be a test of endurance when your seatmate decides to transform your row into an airborne fragrance laboratory. Yes, the cabin pressure is stable, the wings are secure, but nothing in the safety briefing prepares you for the uncharted…
-
Spirit Airlines and the Battle for Fabric Freedoms The airline industry just got a whole lot more spirited
January 24, 2025 By Davor Kelemenovic, The Veliki Gradski Glasnik, Serbia In a bold move that has left fashion enthusiasts scratching their beret-covered heads, Spirit Airlines has revised its dress code policy to address what insiders are calling “a crisis of questionable couture.” While the airline insists the changes are merely a tweak to its sartorial standards, critics argue this…
-
Thank You for Flying Titanic Airlines Taking Air Travel to Uncharted Waters
“Ladies and gentlemen, good evening, and welcome aboard Titanic Airlines, flight 1243, with non-stop service to Antarctica’s Dry Valleys and the Kamchatka Peninsula. We’re thrilled to have you with us today! My name is Isabella Fiammetta Castiglione, but you can call me Izzy, and I’ll be your Senior Flight Attendant alongside my amazing crew members, Leilani Nahir Kalākaua, Aksel Torvaldson…
-
Sticky Bomb Threat Foiled How the TSA thwarts bombs made from Diet Coke and Mentos mints
Los Angeles, California – American authorities announced yesterday that they had successfully thwarted an attempt by terrorists to detonate a sticky bomb made from a 1-liter bottle of Diet Coke and Mentos candy mints, preventing what could have been the messiest attack on U.S. air carriers in aviation history. The Transportation Security Administration first became aware of the threat after…
