“These are the times that try men’s souls.” – Thomas Paine (1776–1783) Life, for all its wonder, is mostly a long queue of indignities. Every day, we’re served a buffet of unavoidable discomforts that suddenly appear on our skin, awkward small talk that lasts longer than most relationships, and family photos that feel like solar torture wrapped in love. We…
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How Do You Greet the Day? Secrets for how to win the day from those who know
Ed O’Neil Al Bundy, bitter, reluctant family man embodying the frustrated working-class shoe salesman. You know how I greet the day? With pain—deep, throbbing, soul-sucking pain. Some folks jump outta bed like it’s Christmas morning. Me? I roll out like a sack of wet laundry. The house is chaos before sunrise—someone’s whining for cash, someone’s hogging the mirror, and someone’s…
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Grimm Prospects – Episode I Al Bundy’s advice for getting by in life one fairy tale at a time
Baa, Baa, Black Sheep A simple rhyme in which a black sheep answers a child’s request for wool, giving it to the master, the dame, and a small boy. Baa, baa, black sheep. Yeah, I know the guy. Poor sap gets asked if he’s got any wool, and like every beaten-down husband in America, he coughs it all up. One…
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Grimm Prospects – Episode II
London Bridge Is Falling Down A repetitive rhyme about the collapse of London Bridge and many humorous attempts to repair it with different materials. London Bridge is falling down. And you know what? Of course it is. Everything falls down. Buildings, paychecks, my pants the second I bend over in the shoe store. Nothing lasts. You put your heart, your…
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Grimm Prospects – Episode III Al Bundy’s advice for getting by in life one fairy tale at a time
Rock-a-bye Baby A lullaby where a baby in a cradle, high in a tree, is rocked by the wind until the bough breaks, dropping it down. Rock-a-bye Baby. Yeah, nothing screams “good parenting” like sticking your kid in a cradle up in a tree. Who even thinks of that? Put the baby in a crib, put it on the floor,…
