Paris, France — Five years after the professional cycling world began allowing women to compete in the three-week long Tour de France, the cycling world was stunned when a 21-year-old law student from Long Island, New York became the first woman in the 105-year history of the race to win the Tour de France. But the victory did not come without incident. Flora Eloise Hobble, member of the Stay Free Mini-pad team won the 220 kilometer race in just over 12 weeks, literally destroying her male counterparts through a combination of arguments, temper tantrums and the silent treatment. “I got off to a pretty shaky start,” said Hobble. “My team…
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The Real Secret to Using Online Dating An expert helps would be daters discover the truth behind on-line dating
It’s Saturday night around 11:30 and I’ve been telling Carol about the time I visited Nepal while on break from Harvard Medical School. I was telling Leslie how I excel at skiing the steeps in the Chugach mountain range and Sharon and I were engaged in a long discussion about our favorite restaurants in Tuscany. All from the comfort of my barcalounger using my online dating app. I haven’t been on a date in over five years, so it’s easy to understand why I’ve grown so comfortable with sidling up to women through Match.com, Great-Expectations.com, WaaaayOverThirtySingles.com, and Plentyof Fish.com – while wallowing in the safety that only deception and miles…
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How Shall I Say This? How to craft killer resumes and cover letters that people can understand
I’m not a professional resume writer. I don’t even play one on TV. Nevertheless, as a professional writer and active job-search candidate, I’ve learned a few things about how to craft killer resumes and cover letters, beginning with our vernacular… that’s a fancy word for the language or dialect spoken by ordinary people in a particular country or region. How we obfuscate the English language One reason why recruiters and hiring managers have caved into Applicant Tracking Software (ATS) is having to wade through hundreds of resumes that use trite, lifeless terms like utilize, monetize and re-contextualize. Words we never speak or write in our common conversations with other people.…
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The End of a Love Affair The first same-person marriage fails. News at 11:00
Boston, MASS – In a sad epilogue to an earlier published story, Roland Nigland, 33, has filed for divorce from himself citing irreconcilable differences. Readers may recall that Nigland, of Boston, Massachusetts became the first person to publicly profess his love for himself in what was believed to be the first same-person love affair and marriage on record. “I honestly don’t know what happened,” said Nigland. “I was so much in love with myself. After the wedding, I set up house in a renovated Beacon Hill apartment, found a new job and made plans to start a family. All the usual stuff. But then, just as quickly, things began to…
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Feng Shui-ing My Chakras How mal-aligned chakras, auras and baguas ruined one man's life... and the inside of his house trailer
Dr. Levenfish was baffled. There was nothing more western medicine could do to pull me out of the depths of my depression. Feeling like my life had totally unraveled, I began entertaining thoughts of non-traditional methods of suicide like handcuffing myself to my mother-in-law. But I never had the courage to follow through with it… at least until I discovered Feng Shui. “Well, since you’ve made the decision to live,” said Dr. Levenfish, “I guess we should start looking at alternative solutions. Have you ever thought about trying Chinese medicine? Maybe something that might correct your maligned Chakras?” I gasped. Up until now, I didn’t even know I had Chakras,…