Anyone who’s gone through a life-changing event will tell you that transformations do not always happen for the worse. Sometimes, what may seem to be a catastrophic turn of events can end up reshaping your entire reason for being. In December of 1988, Sarah Will was a jubilant, attractive college graduate working as a carpenter in Aspen, Colorado. On her…
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Become a Breast Surgeon – On-line! My twelve weeks on the road through medical school and more breasts than I'd ever seen!
As a terminated, over-the-hill computer operator I never dreamed that I’d have an opportunity so late in life to strut down the halls of a major medical center as a world renowned breast surgeon, barking out orders on my way to scrubbing up for a mastopexy. Up until now, all those years of drinking, bong smoking and my worthless junior…
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Where the Sun Don’t Shine You want to stick THAT up where?
About the time I reached my fiftieth birthday, I experienced two inevitable milestones. The first was “The Letter” from AARP. The second was a reminder from my internist that it was time for my first colonoscopy. The AARP Letter magically appeared in my mailbox while I was in my late forties, inviting me to join the American Association of Retired…
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The Great Sperm Audition Getting paid to do what comes naturally
During tough economic times, difficult problems require creative solutions. It’s important to honestly take stock of your current skills and decide what you have to offer society that’s easily convertible into a livable wage–even if it’s just sperm. That’s why I was so intrigued when I ran across an article in the Washington Post, with the following headlines: “Fertility Clinics…
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My Birth Anomalies Birth defects are easy... being normal is tough
Anita Phillips was ugly. I should know. I had to sit behind her, looking at the back of her head during the entire sixth grade. She had big ears, stringy hair and bumps on her head the size of golf balls. If her parents weren’t so cheap, they would have sought the services of a good plastic surgeon for her…
