Hey there. Dewie the cat here, and boy, do I have tales to spin about my paws-itively hilarious life with my human, Allen. Buckle up, it’s gonna be a wild ride! So, I popped into this world on a cool Thursday, March 3, 2022, in a not-so-glamorous vacant lot. Yeah, not exactly the plush beginning you’d expect for a charming fellow like me. My mom, bless her heart, had to bolt, leaving me and my siblings to fend for ourselves. Thankfully, the heroes at the San Diego Humane Society scooped us up, and after a stint in the infirmary (I was a bit of a fixer-upper), I graduated to the…
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A Tail of True Love Man Marries His Cat in a Groundbreaking Ceremony
Let me tawk straight heah—when ya hear ’bout a guy marryin’ his cat in Bugtussle, Kentucky, ya might t’ink da world’s finally gone nuts. But stick around, ’cause dis ain’t just any ole tabloid fodder; it’s a bona fide love story that could only happen where chickens outnumber folks. So, picture dis: Allen Smith, a retired ski instructor wid a knack for adventure, meets Dewie, a tabby cat, on some kooky online dating site for pets. Yeah, ya heard right—online datin’ for pets! Dis ain’t no typical “boy meets girl” gig; it’s “man meets cat,” and not just at da local bar, but on “Da Waggle and Woof Society” website.…
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Edgar’s Last Lick A Dewie the Cat Investigation
It was 2 AM, and the phone rang, jolting me out of my dreams. With a voice as smooth as silk and as steady as a heartbeat, I introduced myself. “Cat. Dewie the Cat.” On the other end of the line, Detective Hull, sounding as weary as ever, said, “Dewie, we need you.” That’s all it took. I was up, pulling on my flea collar, headed to the scene of a crime that would rattle our small community to its core. The Victim: Edgar, the Beloved Maine Coon Cat Edgar wasn’t just any cat. He was a fixture in our town. A nine-year-old Maine Coon with a personality as big…
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ChimpMingle.com I'm looking for a female in heat. Are you out there?
Hi ladies. My name is Mr. Gonhorrhea. Well, that’s not my real name. ChimpMingle told me to make up a catchy alias for my dating profile that describes something interesting about myself, so I went with that. I’m new to this whole online dating thing. I much prefer picking out a female in heat and climbing onto her backside. But, my therapist told me if I ever wanted to make it outside of the rainforest and make something out of myself, I’d have to refine my approach to dealing with chimps. That’s why I’m here on ChimpMingle.com. We spent our days taunting the gorillas and orangutans next door, digging out…
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Paws & Whiskers A Veterinarian Unravels the Cat Conundrum
“Life without a cat is like a sandwich without cheese – bland, unexciting, and utterly lacking in the joy of a good, hearty cheddar.” – Evangeline Higgledypiggledy I am thrilled to introduce my brand new advice column, “Paws & Whiskers: Unraveling the Cat Conundrum.” Hopefully, this column will serve as your guide to the perplexing world of cat ownership, tackling the most puzzling questions, and providing you with the answers you never knew you needed. Whether you’re a first-time cat owner or a seasoned cat whisperer, this advice column will enrich your feline-filled life with knowledge, laughter, and perhaps even a newfound appreciation for that catnip-stuffed mouse toy that always…