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Allen R Smith

Award-winning ChatGPT Humor Writer

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  • June Cleaver is yelling at the Beaver
    All Entries,  Entertainment and Show Business,  Family,  Home Life,  Humor

    Breaking Beav The true story of how Ward, June, Wally and the Beav succeeded in the methamphetimine trade

    December 16, 2016

    “Hi, dear. How was your day?” “Oh, Ward. Sheriff Williams raided the house again this afternoon.” “That makes the third time this month. What happened?” “You know. The same old thing. The Wilson’s complained about Theodore’s meth lab again. Apparently the fumes coming out of his and Wally’s bedroom floated over the backyard fence and killed their cat. They’re threatening…

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    Allen Smith
  • Teams competing in tug o war during the summer Olympics
    All Entries,  History,  Humor,  Leisure and Sports

    Olympic Sports that Never Quite Made the Grade Lawn bowling, hot air ballooning, live pidgeo shooting and other sports that will never see the light of day

    December 7, 2016

    Even if you don’t like sports, it was hard not to get excited about the Summer Olympics. The pageantry, the colorful uniforms and swapping pins with spectators from all over the world make it a must-see event. But, they didn’t start out that way. The original competitions have expanded from six simple feats of strength to more than 26 individual…

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    Allen Smith
  • Family in knock down argument
    All Entries,  Family,  Home Life,  Humor

    With Rentals Like These, Who Needs Friends? Regaining familial tranquility with "Rent-a-Friend"

    December 7, 2016

    This started out as a bad year. In less than 6 months, I lost my job, condominium, car and all of my friends. Even the cat packed up her litter box and left. When my parents heard the bad news, they immediately snapped into action: they fled to Boca Raton and dropped me from their Christmas card list. The exodus…

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    Allen Smith
  • Cowboy sitting on horseback screaming
    All Entries,  Business and Work,  Entertainment and Show Business,  History,  Humor,  Technology

    The Wilhelm Scream A good Hollywood scream is hard to find; unless you know where to look

    December 7, 2016

    In the early days of the film industry, it was hard to find a good scream. Before the invention of sound bites, directors who needed a blood-curdling shriek from actors often got rather paltry sounding yelps. That is, until Private Wilhelm entered the scene. In the 1951 war classic Distant Drums, a soldier is dragged under water by an alligator…

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    Allen Smith
  • All Entries,  Health,  Humor

    Tooth Fairies Aren’t Easy How BMWs and laptops have replaced leaving a quarter under your pillow

    December 7, 2016

    When my dentist gave me the bad news, I was naturally distraught over the possibility of losing half of my teeth. Even after years of religiously brushing, flossing and wrestling with my Waterpik, the entire lower left-hand quadrant as well as a few other strategically located molars had succumbed to periodontal disease, so eating anything denser than applesauce started to…

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    Allen Smith
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